String-Free Youifying Tips

In case you missed the launch a few weeks back, I mail out some bite-sized, job-youifying tips on Tuesdays.

Because maybe:

• You’re doing what you love (and want it to succeed) or
• You are trying to do work you like, but you’re kind of sucking at it, OR
• You have no. i. dea what you want to do. But you want to like it.

If you end up hating the Youifying Job Tips, make your french exit anytime (a.k.a. unsubscribe).

The usual I-would-never-share-your-info-in-a-million-years statement applies here. I would never.

You get tips that are pretty awesome. And extremely helpful.  And entertaining. And practical & normal-person-clear.*

*(There will be zero rainbows, baby animals, or sunsets.)

If this is your thing – sign the heck up! Look for Tips on Tuesdays.

Tuesday Styles #4: Standards Edition

If you’re new here, welcome!  On Tuesdays, we use the clothes we choose to wear and the way you set up our digs as a tool to:

1. continuously reconnect with who we really are — and being fully who we are is how to rock that that thing we do, out there, in the world, and
2. check out what’s really going on in our world – the outside reflects the inside.

Let’s Have Higher (highest!) Standards Edition

It’s the change of seasons where I live, which is a very good reevaluating time for life.  I feel natural about cleaning out the clutter during this time of year.

This cleaning out the clutter, of course, includes my closet, which – truth be told! – is actually kind of a disaster… I think we can all read something into that…

And I move a lot, so I’m kind of surprised to look into my closet this morning and see so much freaking stuff.  Last spring, I Goodwilled nearly 7 trash bags full of clothing.

Usually, I clean out my closet based on “does this fit me well” or “do I even wear this“, because, in my belief system, clothes deserve to be worn. If I’m not wearing it, I’m giving it to someone who will love it like it’s their signature item.

Have some respect for your clothes, man.

But this year, I’m going off the reservation.  I’ve got another, higher standard that feels really right to me. It could be really cool for you, too.

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Me and Jonathan and Everyone You Know

Last week was kind of insane. You may have noticed a dearth of posts and Tweets and Facebook updates.  That’s because of the insanity that was my week.

I will elaborate, because it was a great week for me to tell you, in particular, all about. I’m going to doll it out to you in bite-sized pieces throughout this week.

Let’s start with last Tuesday, when I enjoyed a leisurely lunch with Career Renegade, Tribal Author and fellow New Yorker, Jonathan Fields.

Jonathan Fields is a guy who’s done a great job of striking out an authentic-for-him career path (read on for more on that).  I love this about him, because this is what I help people do.  By all standards, he’s been extremely successful – but there’s so much more to it than that.

Me and Jonathan and Everyone You Know

What struck me most about Jonathan is how very present and relaxed he is — and, how candid he was with me.

I’m not going to bore you with the details (like how he wouldn’t let me pay, when I asked HIM to lunch – generous gesture! – and how he gave me VERY good and non-icky marketing and strategic advice, unsolicited, for my much-newer-than-his business).

What I want to tell you about is how you and me and Jonathan Fields are basically on the same path. You and me and everyone we know are dealing with the same stuff, and it’s all going to be great.  Huh, how about that? (Right???)

We talked, shared ideas and where we are both “at” right now, and it all boils down to this…

#1 There is no le grande arrival.

Jonathan honored who he was by leaving the law and diving into the realm of fitness and yoga, selling his businesses and transitioning into what I see as a kind of coach – though, his bio says he has:

established himself as a thought leader in the world of online entrepreneurship, social media, marketing and blogging

Whatever, I still think he’s a coach.

And, you know what? He is still a work in progress.

He’s not a superior than you expert any more than anyone else can be. Because no one really gets there.

For example, he was telling me how he’s in the middle of a big career transition himself.  As of recently, he is merging his blogs and pegging down the steps in his bigger game plan.

And, friends, I’m right there with him.

• I’ve started some career coaching for lawyers who want to leave the law, and still doing weight loss coaching and career coaching for the other stuck people out there.

But, for me, how I balance it all and which direction(s) I’ll continue in? Work in progress.

Jonathan was telling me how he would never claim to be a guru that knows it all. There is no person who knows it all.  We are, all of us, students that learn and grow and change without ceasing.

Here’s your take away: You, out there — person who has a new project in mind that’s different from your career, or is hopeful for a job switch or desperate to know what work you would love doing — you’re right smack dab on the same path to authenticity that Jonathan and I are both walking down.

We both are dealing with what you are dealing with.

You may have recently started this journey, or you may just be thinking about thinking about starting this journey.  No matter where you are today, if you’re reading this blog,the odds are good that you’re somehow into being the youified version of you.

Here’s your other take away: We-are-all-in-the-same-place thing is so cool because the more you can accept where you are right now and meet yourself where you are today, and take the journey to youifying the work you do one step at a time, the happier you can be in your current life, and the more you realize… there is no big arrival.

You’ve already arrived. And, continue to do so at each moment.  Jonathan’s business is evolving, because it’s alive.  Like all living things, it will always change.

The process never ends.

#2 Big stuff needs  s  p  a  c  e .

Jonathan and I both left our big, fancy law firms.  And both of us decided to do so after carving out time and space to make this decision. He took a month’s leave of absence to get clear on what was right for him to do, and I took what amounts to a year-long sabbatical.

Why were we both intentional in doing this?

Because, when you’re in a heap of badness with your work and you’ve been there for a while, even if you make the right decision for you, you’re not going initiate it from the right place.

I’m not saying that one month away from your job is a magic bullet to solve all of your problems, but if you take some time to rest, to grow calmer and more clear on your priorities, proclivities and the stuff you want to give to the world, you’re going to look back at your decision, and process, and see it for the well-deliberated choice that it was. Just sayin’.

Here’s your take away: Take a break from the thing you feel stuck about, and poll the sources you respect for guidance.  Spend time alone. Connect to what you really want and why you’re not doing that right now.  Take some time for yourself on this.

Otherwise, you’ll keep doing what you’ve always done, and get where you’ve always gotten. Which is kind of nowhere.

#3 Mindsets Over Matter

The delightful Mr. Fields and I talked about a mindset that we both struggle with, that gets us into trouble.  This mindset, like all unhelpful thinking, requires freaking constant correction to avoid it building, over and over, the same dungeon from which you’ve escaped.

He was telling me that he is not exactly in the place that he, being uniquely him, should be. Huh. In the words of Larry David, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty cool to hear such honesty.

• Similarly, I love working with people to reconnect with themselves in order to identify work that suits and then making it happen. And I love my weight loss clients, who are learning to reconnect and to love themselves as-is in order to be naturally thin. And I’m now beginning work with lawyers who are feeling stuck and unhappy, to sort out the necessary changes to their career and to their own unhelpful mindsets.

Two weeks ago, I realized, just like Jonathan has, that it’s time to slow down to speed up.

• My business is growing and changing quickly, and I decided to slow down to be sure the speeding ball of fire that is my coaching practice is headed in the right direction for me. (Hence, insane week.)

I’m still in slow down mode, so the resolution to that question is still a-brewin’…

But! Here’s what I do know: I battle, like Jonathan battles, a particular mindset.

We tend to pick a goal and relentlessly drive at it (not very learning lucky).  When really, staying connected to myself, in each moment, and taking the right next move only after evaluating where I am after each move that I make, is the way to manifest work that’s my right work.

• I slow down to remind myself to stay in the present moment, and follow the opportunities that feel good and energizing – even when they don’t make sense.

Here’s your take away: Your mindset is the single most important piece for you to work on, as you seek to identify your passion, and as you pursue it, and forever.

That’s what I call a power lunch.

Tuesday Styles #3: Time Travel Edition

I read an amazing post that inspired this week’s Tuesday’s Styles.

But first, a reminder: we check in on how we present ourselves and our surrounding environment each Tuesday because getting dressed in the  morning and your living/working space are convenient means for youifying your life and work.

Yesterday, I talked about the biggest obstacles to believing you can leave a job that is all wrong for you:  fear & doubt.

Join me in owning up to it and get a handle on it on a daily basis. AND! While we work that angle, consider what you want. What do you want your life to look like? What do you want the content of your work to be? Narrowing what you want is the most powerful tool for change.

Here’s where Tuesday Styles comes into play… some of you are thinking – I don’t really know what I want.  That’s okay.

That’s why we are doing this, sitting down every Tuesday, and reconnecting by forging your style for who you really are.

My case-in-point? Read below…

Brocades, Silks & Velvets

Before you read this entire post, do this:  look into your wardrobe, five years from today.  What do you see? Write down your answer.

My answer:

• I see quality everywhere – well-made, lovely and comfortable boots, elegant shoes that look like works of art and fit like gloves.
• I see scarves and blouses gathered throughout my travels as reminders of places where I’ve made lasting memories and of the cultures that really speak to me.
• I see coats of durable fabrics and grow more beautiful with more wears.
• I see dresses and slacks that fit me, I don’t try to fit into them.

Think of what you see.  What is in that closet? How does it make you feel?

One woman looked in and saw the real Emma.

A beautiful and touching post, Emma addresses the external transformation that accompanies any internal overhaul.  Her identity has – it is – blossoming and growing.  She’s a beautiful individual striking out on her own authentic path. I find that journey magnetic.

When you wake up to see that what you wear represents the person you once were, but no longer are, it’s a very good day.  It’s time to dress for the you that is now.

You can push it further than that, though: Look into your closet five years from now, and notice what you see.  You can dress now as the person you will grow to be in 5 years’ time. And, ironically, you’ll be helping yourself get there sooner.

Because that’s the closet you’re meant for today.

Why not leave your stinkin’ job?

You know you’re not a crazy person for feeling malcontent in a high profile and lucrative position.

The interesting piece is this: why not leave?

There are two big, fat, Greek reasons:

#1 Fear

#2 Doubt

Fear is not just a bad movie starring Marky-Mark.

Most people do not leave a job because of fears around leaving, and the self-doubt about their choice to leave.

Fear is so, so normal. Fear is just part of who we people are.  Every person who is connected with how he or she feels experiences fear often.

It’s how you deal with your fears that makes the difference.

Dealing with fear is how you keep the fear from running your life.

Here are some VERY common fears – and a few tips on dealing with them:

(1) What will Everybody think?

Oh, the Everybody syndrome! It is near and dear to my heart.

• “Everybody” is actually a few people that you don’t necessarily even like.  When you say, Everybody will think I’m a loser if I leave! Get specific about who you’re really talking about (parents? a friend? your boss?).  It’s usually under six people.
• Why does their opinion matter? You may be wrong about their opinion or you may be right, but uncovering why you care what they think this much is important work to do to begin dissolving your Everybody. Do you want that person’s approval? What will having their approval get you? Whatever you think you get from the approval, it’s a lie. You can have that thing you think you get on your own, and even if you do get the love or self-worth out of the approval, you just have to chase the approval again and again and again to keep feeding your tanks – and it’s never enough.
• Decide whether you actually even want them in your Everybody. If you don’t kick them out and choose new people. This can also be known as your High Council of Jedi Knights.

(2) What if I lose all of my money and, bereft, become homeless?

Any fear surrounding a lack of resources, or attack by others, reeks of your reptilian brain, and is rarely rooted in reality.

Pam Slim, in her book Escape from Cubicle Nation, explains that you know a fear is a Lizard Fear when the fear is:

1. very extreme (“I will lose everything!”),
2. it crumbles under a critical eye (there are times when you’ve been in this feared situation — losing a job, experiencing a break up — and you made it out alive) and
3. you experience it very strongly in your body (chest is very tight and shoulders are under your ear lobes).

For me, identifying this fear as a message from my old timey brain that still broadcasts messages that are unhelpful now that I don’t live in a cave and forage helps me to acknowledge its message — but feel free to do as I wish.

Another solid exercise from Havi Brooks is to visualize your lizard brain fears as wooden ducks following along behind you — harmless.

(3) What if I fail?

Again, get clear on what “failing” means to you, and decide if this is useful.  If trying something once, and it not working out immediately feels like failure, you have set yourself up to fail every single time you ever try anything new.

I’d say it’s high time to redefine how you define “failure”!

My choice has been to exclude “failure” from my model for life.  Failing just means you stop trying – and that’s up to you. There is no fail in my model – I try and try again, change directions, revise my tactics, change my goals.

I highly recommend this.

Doubt is not jut an excellent movie starring Philip Seymour Hoffman.

(1) Analysis Paralysis!

You have thought about this a LOT, and you want to figure out all of the angles before you take one iota of action. Things need to be perfect before you make your master move!

If you suffer from analysis-paralysis, you are not alone. You have options:

• Get help from an outsider. One very helpful antidote is getting the help of someone outside of the situation – I recommend hiring someone whose specialty is getting you through stuckness, because you both will be invested in resolving the situation, but talking to a trusted and level headed friend will help, too.
• Do one small thing. Think of one very, very, very small action you can take that does not at all feel overwhelming. It might be, find the email address for one possible client and save it in my drafts folder.  It might be, turn on the lights in my new apartment.  If you notice any resistance internally, the thing is too big. Cut it in half until it’s small enough to feel doable.
• Create accountability.  Having someone that you report to at the end of your week on your progress or plan is a motivator for taking actions when you’re paralyzed in analyzing.

Realize that situations are never perfect, conditions are always mixed and you will never be totally ready or fully fearless in action that is important to who you are.  If you wait for this, you will wait forever.

(2) Things may one day change?

With people and with your job, expect to get what they have always given you.  In my experience, all that changes over time is how you feel: You feel worse the longer you wait for a static situation to spontaneously improve.

(3) As good as it gets?

If you find yourself wondering, what if this is all that a career can give a person? Citing such proof as “all of the other people that feel the same way I do” or perhaps a parent who trudged along dutifully, don’t believe yourself.

Your work may be on yourself (and often is) before you make a circumstantial change, but if you’re not happy, this is not as good as it gets.

I leave you, fair blog reader, with this: decide to work through the fear & the doubt, and identify the work you love.  The decision to do this is even more important than knowing the process.

Friday. In Review! #3: There’s No There Edition

What a week! I’m glad it’s Friday on a personal level, because I will see my pregnant best friend this weekend. I’m very excited.

Now’s the time each week that we look at some of the Hard Stuff, and some of the Good Stuff, from the past week. It’s a ritual that helps us live our lives consciously, to take stock of where we are and what it all means.

Join me if you want to, and if not, you can just read along.

Hard Stuff

I don’t know if this belongs under Hard Stuff or Good Stuff, but it belongs first so it’s going here.

• I want to be very clear that there is no there, there is only here.

When I talk about, all over my website, how wonderful being in the right job for you is, I am telling you the truth.  Doing work you really like, that is right for you, is SO much better than being in work that is all wrong for you.  It is the difference between day and night.

BUT — the personal challenges you are facing now will be identical to the personal challenges you will face when you’re doing work you prefer.  None of those will disappear just because your circumstances are different.

When I stopped working at my law firm, I naively thought it would be a transformation. It wasn’t.

The same issues (setting boundaries, seeking approval, loving myself) were waiting for me.

One difference, I admit, after leaving is that I had more energy to put into my self-work, and working on my boundaries, releasing a need for anyone else’s permission to be what I am, and accepting myself, has been massively fruitful since.

But it was my work on myself that’s totally shifted my cells, not the act of leaving.

If you’re in your wrong job, there is bountiful opportunity to dig into the junk that’s coming up for you.  You’re really missing out if all you are doing is lamenting your situation.

Because it will ALL be waiting for you once the situation has changed.

I will couch this, however, with complete sympathy for those of you who have zero energy to work through any of the things that are plaguing you (and maybe it’s news that you have things – we all do, you do, too) because of how deeply drained you are.  I can relate to that, too. You may need to change your situation before you have any juice for anything else.

But if it so happens that you’re waiting to get there to be happy, you’ll be waiting forever.

Don’t let being in the wrong job be your permission slip for being the victim of your own life.  Let it be the catalyst for your personal revolution. I promise that you can do it.

• I feel I’m being taught patience… and, so far, I’m not so good at it.

There are so many neat partnerships that are forming naturally right now in my practice, that I want them all to be as fully grown as they’ll be right now.

I am writing my ebook, Youified, and I want it to be done and in your hands (get it free if you sign up for my Newsletter before it’s done), like, yesterday.

And it freaking all takes time.

There is (apparently) a natural progression to the right things, the things you do because they feel good to you intuitively.  Those things unfold the way they want to unfold.

Ah, the patience to stay in the present moment = my biggest lesson I’m learning right now.  Being present in the moment is truly the best feeling I’ve ever known. (If you’re intrigued, read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.)

Good Stuff

• Neat lessons on leadership this week!

The work I am most interested in is how we create our own lives through our intention and action. I’m learning a big piece of this is being the master of your world.

If you’re in a cube or a cold office zone, you may feel you are the exact opposite of the leader of your own life.  I can relate to this.  You’re going through the motions as best you can.

But consider this: do you really want this job, or that boss, to be leading your life? Because someone’s leading it, and it’s currently not you.

In my experience, when I’m not the boss of me, someone else is – and you know what they have planned? Not very much.

I choose leading myself.  I decided this week to go out to Phoenix in November to do a day of horse whispering with Koelle Simpson, who learned it from the Horse Whisperer. You “break” horses not with your physical force, but with your leadership energy. Kind of crazy. I think it might just change my life.

• Lots of attorneys reaching out this week! Very cool.

As you may know, I’m an attorney. This week, many fellow lawyers reached out, all claiming to be poster children for the “burnt out employee” that I talk about.  I’m gonna need a bigger poster!

Just knowing that you’re not in the right place is massive progress.  Saying it out loud is huge, too.

I’m excited for the people who have taken these steps!  Keep taking it one step at a time, and, seriously, before you know it, you’ll be wonderfully terrified by actually doing that youified thing you love out there. It’s so great!

And that’s my week in review.  If you are doing this with me, let me know some of your good stuff and hard stuff.  If you’re not, you can still hang out here.

I have a Fancy Title & Steady Paycheck. Why am I so miserable?

How many times have you thought something like this:

It is getting really hard to come to work every day. I cannot tell if it is because I am lazy or because there is nothing interesting about this work. It feels like I’ve shut off.  I notice it more when work is slower and I have time to dwell on it. It’s such a “good” job that I feel crazy complaining about it. I feel conflicted, is it me that is not putting enough effort in? Am I just not trying hard enough?

You are not crazy, and you are not alone.

Logically, you are right.  You have a steady pay check in a job that impresses others, so it would seem that you would be content getting up Monday morning to go to work.  So why are you and so many others so miserable?

The essence of the problem, as summed up beautifully by Pam Slim in her book, Escape from Cubicle Nation, is this:

1. Large corporations and firms have changed a lot in the past 25 years. They are fundamentally difficult places to work, even for extremely smart and highly motivated employees in an “ideal” work situation. The most senior people in your field had a very different experience coming up in your large firm or business.
2. Some people are just not cut out for working in large organizations. You may have followed this path for reasons other than being genuinely fascinated with this work, such as pleasing your parents or following advice of well-meaning counselors.

I’m not anti-establishment person at all. My years spent in a large firm trained me very well, I met bright people that are close friends to this day and I have tremendous respect for my mentors and the leadership there.

But, I do see a pattern of challenges, particularly at large organizations, that even the most motivated associate has extreme difficulty overcoming.

Legal Slavery

Responding to your blackberry 24 hours/day, 7 days per week, is being owned by your job. That’s why you resent having to respond – you don’t want to be a slave any more than any other person in their right mind would.

• In the service industry, technology can overrun your work-life balance and obliterate the necessary boundary between your job and the rest of your life.
• Particularly when your job feels like work, and not like fun, being tethered to it constantly is soul-murder.
• Your nervous system is not designed to be constantly “ready” to respond to a trigger.  Physiologically speaking, you need down time to feel like yourself and feel filled up. When you don’t have this down time, it is natural to feel frazzled, frustrated and depleted.

Living in a white-collar slavery is hellish, and no one enjoys it. Some people can tolerate it, but you may not be one of those people.

Natural Preferences

The corporate life simply does not suit every person.

You are unique, and your natural preferences for working are unique.

No matter how hard you try to bend yourself out of shape to suit your job, your true self is always going to resist – and in the end, your true self’s relentlessness wins out over your willpower.

• You may not be meant to have a boss.  In the words of Paul Graham of “You’re Not Meant to Have a Boss”: Life in a zoo may be easier, but it isn’t the life [you] were designed for.”
• You may not be meant to sit at desk all. day. LONG. I’ve read interesting studies that confirm my feelings – that sitting at a desk all day is agonizing.  For example, the human nervous system is very similar to that of a rat.  Rats have a very strong preference for roaming around in burrows and tunnels. A rat must be caged in one open space without anywhere to go for the rat to willingly ingest mind-numbing substances. When caged in a burrowed environment, even when morphine water is laced with sugar (which is like giving me chocolate, they go nuts for it), a rat will not drink it. When in its natural environment, the rat would rather be lucid. Interesting.
• You may not care about the content of your work. No matter how hard you try, even if you find something interesting, you may just not care about computer programming or corporate structures.  When you have no energy around the content of your work, it’s not uncommon to feel drained by it.

Ill-Fitting Shoe Result

You may not be cut out for corporate life, and don’t realize it.

Just as wearing a shoe that is a half-size too small, over time, is crippling, being in the situation that is “off” for who you are breaks you down and burns you out.

Why do you try to jam who we are in a clunky, basic brown loafer when you really naturally prefer a sleek wedge that is comfortable and sexy?

We do this because our social self, shaped by our family, the media, religion, educational institutions, is so strong that we believe that a “great job” at a hedge fund, where you have a strong reputation and make tons of money, should make you happy – even if you know that is in direct contrast to the picture of your ideal life!

Many well-intentioned parents encourage their children into corporate jobs that don’t match their true nature.  As much as you want to make yourself feel okay with the situation, it will always feel uncomfortable and, after a while, it becomes very painful.

There is nothing wrong with being thankful for your paycheck, the free pencils, the color copies, the benefits, the paid vacation and the appearance of stability that you see as your corporate life.

Seeing the good in life is part of living lucky and creating opportunities for yourself.

But, in light of all of this, you still don’t feel so great about your job, you are definitely not crazy.

Some of you feel much worse than “not great” and feel more like “totally checked out from myself emotionally” or “wasting years of the one life I’ve been given” or “so stressed out I can foresee a heart attack by Thanksgiving”.

So, why don’t you leave?  Great question. The reason is the twin towers of fear & doubt.  Look for Monday’s post on what’s going on with that, and tips to work through it.

Learning Lucky

You have amazing luck.  Here is a lesson in lucky to tap into it.

Dr. Richard Wiseman, a clinical psychologist who has studied why some people consider themselves lucky, while others consider themselves unlucky, for over 10 years.  He’s quantified why some people feel lucky, and other’s feel cursed.

Here’s what luck really is:

• Luck happens primarily in your head. Two people will have a very similar car accident. The lucky person is excited everyone survived the accident, and finds easy friendship with another driver on the scene. To the unlucky, the accident is another horrible event to happen to him.
• And act accordingly.  Because every “bad” event is seen in a positive way, the lucky are try and try again people as each set-back is seen as an opportunity.  The unlucky feel discouraged, quit and pacify their agony with Jack Daniels & episodes of Lost.
• The lucky are not attached to outcome. Instead of driving towards a goal relentlessly, the lucky stay present and change course when intuition pulls in another direction. The lucky meditate and clear out their thoughts to be able to tap into this intuition. The unlucky are unlikely to deviate from an original goal or plan, even when it is not working.
• Lucky people are certain that the future will be bright. Daniel Pink summarizes Wiseman’s work in a solid article, where he wrote that:

Over time, that expectation [of a bright future] becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because it helps lucky people persist in the face of failure and positively shapes their interactions with other people.

I LOVE this. It reflects the work I do.  Hey — maybe that’s why my clients are so lucky!

Hardest Part = Most Important

I find that people are most resistant to the most important piece of creating your good luck: You must change what’s happening in your head.

The reason most people struggle here is the belief that a person cannot choose her thoughts.  I can personally relate to this.  It took me actually trying out some of the thought-changing tools, and experiencing the impact myself, before I saw this as anything more than insipid fluff.

But, oh, just try it out — it is anything but weak & lame.  It has literally transformed my life.

Try it out and see how you feel before dismissing it. Here’s the best way to start out.

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Tuesday Styles #2: Coming Out of the Closet Edition

Your style is one of the most accessible tools for reconnecting to yourself because you must interface with this daily…

… and since reconnecting to yourself is something you simply have to do if you want to uncover work you love and make that your full-time job…

… you can play with your style from this reconnection angle, PLUS enjoy a lovely byproduct of having the right clothes and home & work space that reflects your totally perfect, absolutely unique preferences.

Oooo. FUN.

As an aside, here is something I’ve been thinking on lately:

• No online test, expert or authority figure can divine the specific work that fits your abilities, preferences and YOU — and, if they try to, stop listening to them.
• Other people can give you tools for figuring this out, share their personal experience, and make  suggestions for you’re situation that are clearly framed with “tell me where this suggestion sounds wrong”.

No one, but no one, knows your style, your right work or right life but YOU.  Trust YOU above all things.

So, under the umbrella of “tools for figuring this out”, I offer this week’s Tuesday Styles.

Tuesday Styles: Coming Out of the Closet Edition

No, I’m not trying to tell you that (but, yes, I am Laurie Gay).

Here’s what I want us to do today: let’s put on our thinking caps and pan through our worldly possessions that we wear/carry as clothes and accessories – asking ourselves one question…

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Cool Free Stuff

To get fast results on the quick, I’m writing the eBookification of the work I do.

I call it Youified. Or, something along those lines (it’s a working title).

Why You Need This Book

• through reconnection, you uncover the job that, to YOU, feels like FUN.
• it’s the single most important thing for losing weight, for the last time, and not having to obsess to stay thin.

See how important this is?

• My eBook gets you into your own skin and a career that is energizing in the clearest, simplest, and most normal-person way possible (but not boring).

Here’s the FREE part: You get a free copy of my e-book, youify what it is you do in the world, when you sign up for my newsletter – click here to subscribe!

The book is well organized so that you can refer back to topics easily and get results, such as:

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