Friday! In review. #10: Warts and all edition.

Whoa! There is a LOT to review since our last review together.

(If you’re new here, we have rituals in place in our lives as reminders. This one is the time each week we reconnect with who we are, what we want, and how we’re doing with… everything.)

Today’s focus: Total (terrifying!) Honesty.

Hard Stuff.

I am learning how to be myself in relationships.

I kind of can’t believe I’m writing this on my blog, but you and I (and everyone we know) goes through the saaaaaame kind of stuff, so this may be one of those things that I’m embarrassed to admit, but you totally relate to it, too.

I’m learning that being the real me that my friends (mostly) know, and that I (mostly) know, in front of someone I’m … interested in, is terrifying.

It’s also the only way to have a real, live relationship.

For example: being who I really am on this blog has built a very real relationship between me and it. And, since you show up here, you’re in that very real relationship with me and the blog, too.

And, just generally, relationships? They are important.

It’s one. Day. At. A. Time.

Ahhhhhhhh! GO. FASTER.

I am not AT ALL amused at how slow this process of being myself in front of someone I’m… interested in actually is.

Being myself, and not the version of me that I think someone wants me to be, is not a BIG decision. It’s actually, this little, tiny decision. Like when I’m thinking of answering a question a certain way (“Nooooooo, I’d never wear clothes and then return them to the store”) that’s not really the truth…

… and, at that moment, I decide to say the truth (“Yes, I’ve worn stuff and returned it — in fact, I’m considering returning this thing I’m wearing, right now. Seriously.”)

Traveling for one month — and staying with other people for 3 weeks of it.

Being out of my routine means, apparently, that I kind of lose my bearings. It is harder for me to feel like myself when I’m traveling (sometimes — not always). When I don’t feel like me, I don’t exactly act like me, either. And that’s disturbing.

Also, when I stay with friends and don’t have a car in a city where you really need to have a car, I fell trapped and beholden to whatever they want to do.

This, of course, is in my head — who knows if my friends care if we do what I want, or what they want? But, I felt a little like I had to play nice and go with the flow. What’s worse than making yourself “play nice”?

Do I travel around the world? 

I’m thinking about it… traveling is just in my blood. Right now, with what I’m doing here, I can do it from anywhere. I’m nervous about leaving things behind that matter to me, and then they aren’t there when I come back, but I also REALLY want to travel around the world. 

Ah, worry and fear. I know thee well.

Creating 3 programs at one time… recipe for overwhelm and stuck.

This is not that hard, it’s more like: ok, so now I know that I should create one program at a time. Lesson learned! 

I get really excited about stuff I want to do for you, and then jump in without fully vetting the putting it all together. This, too, is good to know! 

The upshot is a bunch of cool stuff that you’ll love is in the pipeline for the next few weeks. That’s exciting! I’m excited.

Good Stuff.

I went to Africa! AFRICA! Africa changes people (it changed me).

The trip was NOTHING like I thought it would be, though. I thought I would be immersed in raw wilderness, with all of those natural forces reminding me how I’m part of nature, too, and we all fit in it in the most perfect way.

Instead, it was more like the south of France, but the people speak English as their first language. How unexpected.

I went on safari. I saw leopards and lions and giraffes. I went wine tasting. I went to the beach. I hiked and watched sunsets.

It was amazing. It expanded my views. I can’t fit it into a bullet point.

I am back on my blog! 

I really missed you, and now that I’m back, I realize that I realllllly missed you. 

I get to go to Yoga and Pilates and hip hop class!

I love, love, love exercise. Moving (in ways I like to move — sorry, running, you ain’t my cup of tea) makes me feel like… ME. It centers me and brings me joy. 

Guess what?? I get to like even the stuff I don’t really like about myself.

How liberating is that? I had a revelation this past weekend at a conference I went to….in fact, let me pass it on. Do this exercise.

SERIOUSLY. If you do ONE THING all day today, do this exercise:

• Make two columns on a piece of paper.
• In the column on the left, make a list of the qualities that a good version of you has, or that you wish you had. This is basically your ideal. Stay loose and write whatever comes to mind. This may be “successful” or “smart” or “respected” or “disciplined” etc. Write 5 to 10 or so. Do this before you keep reading.
• Now, in the column on the right, write the opposite of each of the ideal you qualities. If you wrote “successful”, the opposite is “unsuccessful”. If you wrote “not emotional” the opposite is “emotional”.

Look at both of these columns. You are already all of these qualities that you listed.

And, the more you mentally strive to embody the column on the left, the more your body dives into the column on the right. And, it’s all okay. I am wild about your right column qualities, and you should be, too.

Look at the column on the left — would you seriously want to be friends with a non-emotional, successful disciplinarian who never made mistakes? If your left column is anything like mine, that person is actually sociopathic. Scary. 

Look at the right column qualities again — if your friend came to you and showed that she was “weak”, wouldn’t you just love her so much more than if she always pretended to be “strong”? Think about it.

And here’s why you should care: Find a way to love the column on the right version of you, and magic will start to happen. Things like crazy-good career opportunities, the body you’ve always wanted, and the partner you’ve longed for … the best, best, best things begin falling from the sky and into your lap.

I’ve seen this craziness happen in my life and other people’s lives. I don’t know exactly what it’s about, I just know that it’s what happens when you accept yourself, and be yourself, and love yourself. 

Because I already know how wonderful you are, and know you’ve got loads of crappy parts, just like I do, and not only do I love you anyway, I love you because of all of it. (Hopefully, the fact that I just professed my love for you won’t make you wretch or run screaming… if it does, just pretend I didn’t go there. Poof! Didn’t happen!)

Anyway. It’s good to be back.

I hope you’re doing great.

In the comments, hit me with whatever is new for you in 2010. I dare you to say something so honest that it kind of scares you to actually say it, out loud.

Or, don’t. And just hang out here. You’re always welcome (warts and all).

Have a beautiful weekend! See you next week!

The Secret to Skinny: Part I

Yes, there is one secret to losing weight.

I was at a weight loss conference this past weekend. My girl, Martha Beck, talked all about the Secret to Weight Loss, which reminded me that I’ve been wanting to tell you about it.

And, no — it’s not a diet, or a pill, or an exercise regime that you must revere as if it were a religion until you die, or it kills you — whatever comes first.*

*Tracy Anderson, I’m talking to you. My knees were shot after doing your cardio dance DVD 4 days in a row back in ‘09. Granted, I was cardio dancing on my wooden, apartment floor… but still. You are cute as a very toned (and slightly under-nourished) button, but I think I’ll keep my knees and stick to your mat workout. Besos.

Knowing the Secret to Weight Loss is all you need to lose weight. And, it’s free.

“But, Laurie! If there were one Secret to Weight Loss, wouldn’t, like, EVERYONE know?”

Apparently not.

It’s not all the buzz because it’s not a quick-fix kind of secret.

It’s not that appealing to people who want to lose weight without having to actually do anything.

And maybe the Secret to Weight Loss hasn’t gone viral because it has nothing to do with your weight.

What you’re eating or the kind of workouts you do or your family history of obesity, or how you look naked are totally irrelevant to the one thing you need to know to lose weight …. forever.

(more…)

Get your UN-resolutions here.

It’s not too late for New Year’s resolutions! But, I wish it were.

New Year’s resolutions are so 200-and-late.

You’re not going to be able to convince me that MORE stuff on your phone book-length list of stuff in your life is going to add value or happiness or dollars or raise your metabolism.

Instead, if you want to have the best year ever, be a quitter.

(more…)

I’m back! ALSO: I’m in the WSJ Online!

My friend!!!

How I’ve missed you for the past few weeks (ehh, more like many weeks…) while I prepared for and went to Africa.

But, I’m back. And, my trip was amaaaaaaazing.

There’s a ton of stuff that happened and hit me that I need to tell you. Not want — NEED.

But while I get my schtick together here in the US of A where we freaking have internet*, check it out — I’m in the WSJ online!

*hellooooo, cable companies of South Africa, you are missing huge market share by making it such a pain royale for people to have internet at home. I checked my email THREE TIMES.  I miss you so much it hurts.

Have a good day!

And, seriously, babe, I’m back — come back often for turbo-blogging and massive cool programs and things that I’m throwing out there in a matter of hours.

Wahoooooooooooo.