March 11th, 2010
A client tipped me off to this aesthetically rich site that’s claiming to be a cool hunter, but seems to me it is more of a cool finder — which is why it made me think of you.
Being a cool finder yourself, you can be the judge of what is appealing and, well, cool, and what is a little too out there for you. I am partial to the architecture that’s been cool hunted.
So, go on! Dive in to the pop cultural deep end to give your analytical left brain a rest and get your creative right brain firing (weirdly, doing this will make your left brain more productive afterwards — score one for procrastination!).
- If nothing else, watch OK Go’s new video, which the site links to. It is pretty ridiculous.
Have fun on the style playground!
March 8th, 2010
It’s Monday, not the most spectacular day of the week. There’s a lot to do, you have a lot of days of work in a row, and you might be feeling a little stressed about that.
And stress sucks. I’ve been thinking about all of the ways it brings us down: stress makes you fat, it leads to chronic illness, it feels awful, and it turns us into meanies.
And that little devil stress can sneak in like a Trojan Horse — you get this amazing gift-like opportunity, and hiding inside of it is an army of stress-bots, waiting to bust out and invade your day while your birthday candles are still smoldering:
- From what I can see, getting engaged is a Trojan Horse: Hooray, I’m engaged and in love! And, surprise – planning a wedding and appeasing all parties will be one of the most stressful experiences of your life.
- Getting a new job or a promotion is a Trojan Horse: Hooray, no more craptastic days in the cube! And, surprise — you now have to learn commercial real estate immediately because you make no moneys if you sell no spaces.
It’s not that the good part is not great, but the stress part is no fun and can really bring you to your knees.
Who needs THAT?
Not us!
So, if you’re feeling stressed out, here are some things you can do to feel better NOW.
Read the rest of this entry »
March 5th, 2010
Circle all that apply:
- Male / Female
- Doctor / Lawyer / Indian Chief
If you circled Female, and Lawyer, I have something special for you (though it will not remove the circles from your computer screen). It will make you happier, and it’s very, very cheap.
Curious? Click here to read more.
If you’re not female, and not a lawyer, I still like you and am happy to see you.
And to all, a glorrrrrrious weekend!
February 25th, 2010
Because little tips are just the kind of direction you are looking for…
Here are 5 Get Skinny tips for your weight loss pleasure.
1. Don’t diet. The longer that you diet, the tighter your body clings to your extra weight. This makes losing weight incrediblydifficult (which is why you’re reading this and not thin from that last diet you tried). You’re body still thinks that you live in a cave, so restricting your food and increasing physical exercise (i.e., going on a diet) triggers your body’s ancient survival instincts to keep weight on at all costs. This helped your ancestors survive when food was scarce, but little does your body know that you’re living in the world’s fattest nation and simply trying to squeeze into smaller pants.
2. Follow your appetite. Instead of dieting, eat only when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full and you will lose any extra weight. The key is to eat when you just begin to feel hungry and stop eating when you’re lightly full. This is how “naturally thin” people eat. With frequent fuelings, your cave-dwelling body is satisfied that there is no threat of famine or predator, and it will happily release your extra pounds.
3. Feelings are not for eating. There’s never a good reason to eat when you’re not experiencing hunger. When you’re torso deep in the refrigerator and don’t know how you got there — but the chocolate pudding has mysteriously disappeared — the culprit is usually your feelings. Overeating is a great distraction from your stress, loneliness or any other uncomfortable emotion. But if you want to lose weight, feel your feelings instead of eating through them. Put down that pudding spoon — no emotion is so awful that it’s worth a lifetime of weight struggle.
4. Eat foods that you love every day — seriously. I lied in #2 — there is one time when you can eat when you’re not hungry. Because making any food “off limits” leads to pigging out (remember the chocolate pudding incident?), don’t deprive yourself of foods that you love. Instead, make 10% of what you eat each day food that you truly enjoy, whether or not you’re hungry at the time. The only rule is that you must enjoy every bite, and stop eating the second you stop enjoying (or your 10% is up — whatever comes first).
5. Do the bare minimum. There’s a name for people who exercise strenuously 5 to 6 times per week — it’s “injured.” Skip the boot camps and create a weekly exercise baseline that you can keep no matter what is going on in your life. My baseline is moderate exercise for 30 minutes, 3 times per week. I often do more than that, but I never do less. Commit to doing your baseline, and you’ll stay trim and toned all year-round.
February 23rd, 2010
On Tuesdays, I talk about style. Because, seriously, it’s SUCH an accessible way for us to make significant improvement in our lives.
- By “significant improvements” I mean stuff like, you can feel happier, have good things happening and change your relationships all of it just by tinkering with with your forgotten little style nodule.
(And when I am talking about your “style“, I mean what you’re wearing, what your digs look like, how your work space is looking…)
It’s your style! It matters.
I said some things the other day. (I meant them.)
Not to be all Stacy on What Not to Wear,* but what you wear is an expression of who you are to other people and, MORE IMPORTANTLY, to yourself.
*because she’s kind of a bitch on that show
You may shave your head or have pink hair.
You may want to wear all black and put a duck on your shoulder. It all sends a message, to YOU and to the big, bodacious world.
Because how you express yourself (outwardly, through your style) is a microcosm of how you live and what you believe you deserve to have.
Kind of heavy, but, it’s true. So true!
It’s LIFE OR DEATH!
Well, not exactly that. (there’s no death)
- But you cannot change your life without changing your style, and vice versa.
Your style is a powerful metaphor for your life. In the words of ye old Martha Beck who studies (in her words — I love this) “how to cope, how to be happy and how to manifest your purpose” (and trained me to teach you how to do those things), and who also has a schmancy Harvard PhD in sociology :
Every time you make a choice about which objects you bring into your space, where to put them, or whether to remove them, you’re following psychological directives that also shape every other aspect of your life. If you feel overwhelmed by tasks and people, your home will be overcrowded with objects. If you care more about your children than about yourself, you’ll take better care of their space than you do of your own. If you have a lot of secrets the physical manifestation of those secrets will be stowed — usually in a grubby, hidden or suffocating bundle — somewhere in your house.
Holy smokes, Dr. Martha. I feel like you’ve been to my house, and can read my mind.
But, Dr. M, why does changing my space — like, cleaning out the crap I have hidden behind my bedroom door, say – change my life?
It’s because of BUTTERFLIES.
OH!
Wait — huh?
No, wait — it’s because of the Butterfly Effect.
Huh?
You know, the Butterfly Effect, which you may know as a movie you didn’t bother seeing with Ashton Kutcher in it, but is actually a concept, based on a story written wayyyyy back in 1952 (which is why you’ve never read it).
A man goes back to the age of the dinosaurs, and steps on a butterfly. He returns to the future, and insects (not people) rule the modern world. This small change, extrapolated over eons, makes an enormous change.
If you start to pay attention, you’ll find that if you make a change to your style, or your living space, however small, it will send you down a slightly different path that you can’t see at first, but puts you in a VERY different place in the future.
Like an orange wall and a cactus.
I believe my decision not to marry this not-right-for-me person years ago is because I changed HIS living space (where I spent most of my time).
We were talking marriage and thinking dates. Heavy.
Then, as a “fun surprise”, I painted one of his enormous walls bright orange and bought him a cactus while he was out one day (I’m a very fast painter).
With the apartment so happy, I could see, after about 3 months of the slightly different path, that we were… not. And, I picked up by bucket and paint brush and found a new wall to paint.
And that wall got me onto the slightly different path that leads to this career! (But that’s another story for another post.)
There’s also the awesome action component.
To make a small change, you have to take a small action. And that action is empowering — because that action is really what puts you on the new and better path.
And that new and better path changes your life. Which means, you just proved to yourself you can change your life with your actions.
Rock on.
And the change your patterns component.
If your space is different or you present yourself in a different way, it changes your patterns throughout the day, ever so slightly.
Your patterns shifting means they shift throughout your life… and who knows how many lives you touch with that!
The bottom line is that little tiny visual changes make big, lasting improvements in your existence. They feel good when you do them, they don’t take much effort at the time and you get to enjoy the fruits of a changed loom.
Um, life.
In the comments, please tell me:
– if you’ve every changed your home or style in any way that’s affected your life;
– did you see The Butterfly Effect, the movie, and was it like the book;
– something about your current style — good, bad or… edible. Or something.
February 22nd, 2010
Just in case you’ve been debating about whether or not to take the Last Weight Loss Class You’ll ever need…
Rest easy knowing that TOMORROW, you’ll start the end your weight loss struggle and preoccupation with food.
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE. (How dramatic.)
But, seriously, there is one spot left, and it will most likely get filled by the end of the work day. Snap it up now, and you’ll learn how to eat only when you’re hungry, enjoy food, and stop struggling with your weight for good.
The class is going to be awesome. It’s based on (1) what worked for me, (2) a clinically proven program and (3) the work of a couple other ridiculously cool and normal colleagues of mine.
(Later you feel like the class ends up not being your thing, you can get a full refund — because I know how it feels to buy something and it’s not really right for you. It’s a win-win for you!)
It’s Tuesdays @ 7pm EST February 23 to March 30. You dial in from anywhere you are in the world. If you miss a class, it’s no biggie. Classes are recorded and emailed to you. Because — stuff comes up sometimes!
So read all about it. Then, sign up HERE! SOLD OUT!
Sign up here for the stellar waiting list for the next class (and you’ll also get SNEAKY, sneaky discounts on it)
Who knows when I’ll do this class again, and summer is coming! (I know, the summer thing is a cheap shot… but, brother, if you’re anything like me, summer coming matters.)
Come join me, and lose weight for the last time.
February 18th, 2010
There’s this thing that you have. You may not know that you have it — I certainly didn’t know it existed until 2004.
This thing that you have is the culprit for all of the stuff in your life.
This thing is called your intention.
The first time I heard that behind everything I do and every decision that I make, I had an intention, it kind of blew my mind — especially when I was told that I can consciously set my intention and that will get me what I want.
I remember sitting on my couch in my apartment in Austin, Texas. I was watching Oprah. She was talking to Gary Zukav about his book, The Seat of the Soul.*
*I bought and read this book after this show, and after my waxing lady also recommended it a few weeks later… I seriously thought it was totally nuts at the time — like, creepy and crazy. I couldn’t finish it. I reread it a few years ago, and it’s seriously now one of my favorite books.
Oprah said (and, I paraphrase):
You write a lot about intention. I learned from you that I always have an intention. Every time my staff and I decide to do something on the show, I ask them, ‘What is our intention in having this guest on the show or focusing on this topic?’ Our intention behind every choice needs to be the right intention, otherwise we don’t do it.
This concept, intention, just jumped up and grabbed me at that moment, even though I had a hard time deciphering what my intentions were in… anything. I thought, okay, I’m going to try this out. What was my intention in going to law school?
I couldn’t answer that question. I had no idea what my intention was in going to law school, in taking a job in New York, in dating my boyfriend — anything.
Now, after having intention explained to me 6 different ways till Sunday and letting my brain hurt as I wrap my mind around the idea, I can tell you what my intention is — and confirm that my intentions created my result.
- My intention in going to law school: To put off admitting to myself that what I really wanted to do (basically, this) and develop a skill that had an existing marketplace where I could sell it.
[RESULT: I put off the soul search that brought me here, and I easily found a job (those were different times... )]
That may all make total sense to you, or you may feel really confused (if you’re like me).
But, not to worry! I’ve thought up two more ways to explain this that and show you how to identify your intention — and then, how to choose it. .
Because the problem with the concept of intention is that it’s really fluffy. Intention is a very abstract idea that is hard to understand, and often misunderstood.
But, because your intention is a very, very powerful, way to create exactly what you want, try to stay with me here. Maybe it’s easy for you to grasp this idea right off of the bat, but I found that it’s an idea that I had to digest for a while before I “got” it.
Then, it took some effort to be able to identify what my own intention was behind the stuff I would do.
EASY EXPLANATION #1: Your intention is like the muscles in your body.
(I was going to say, “your intention is like your pancreas,” until I realized I don’t really know what the pancreas does…? Something with sugar in your body, maybe?)
Your body is covered in muscles — it always has been. Your muscles enable you to walk, stand, run and make feeble efforts at dancing (whatever, I think you’re an awesome hip hop dancer).
But, you didn’t always know about your muscles. Even though they’ve been working for you since you were born, you didn’t always know that there were thingies that were making all of that movement.
When you learned to walk, you didn’t know your ABC’s, let alone human biology, but you not knowing that it was your leg muscles causing you to take that first step didn’t change the fact that it was your leg muscles that picked up one magnificent, velcro kitten sneaker and put back down onto the carpet, safe and sound.
Now that you move all over the place, you can even choose which muscles you want to use to do stuff. You can walk starting with your right leg (using your right leg muscles) or step with your left leg first (using your left leg muscles).
You can be even more selective than that about which muscles you use. If you’re very aware of your own body, you can stand up initiating with the back of your legs (your hamstrings) or initiating with the front of your legs (your quads).
You can make the exact same movement (standing up), but using different muscles depending on which ones you choose.
Not everyone has that high degree of body awareness. It takes time to be able to feel what muscles you use and become aware of what muscles are making what movements.
It’s a sophisticated level of self-awareness to be in touch with your body this way, and it takes time and effort to be able to get in touch with yourself in this way (it’s worth it).
Your muscles are like your intention. Even if you’re not aware that you have them, they are still doing their jobs. But, when you become aware that they are there, and can identify them, you now have the power to choose which ones to use to get the results you want to get.
So, just like your muscles have always been making your movements, your intention has always been making the results of your decisions.
You don’t have to be aware of your intention or your muscles for them to be there and do their jobs — they are both just a part of you whether or not you are aware of it.
And, just like with your muscles, you can put effort and focus into becoming aware of what your intention is behind a decision. And, eventually, you can readily identify exactly what your intention is or what muscle you’re using, and ultimately, choose the intention/muscle you want to use.
EASY EXPLANATION #2: Here’s a nifty formula.
Maybe you’re thinking, I am loving how much this makes sense! But, if you’re like me, you’re probably looking quizzically at your computer screen with zero light bulbs flicking on, and about ready to quit this brain teaser of a blog post.
Don’t sweat it. Here’s the second way to think about what intention is:
Decision (with intention) = result
That formula is saying that your decision, coupled with your intention, produces the result that you get.
I’ll fill in a decision that I made this morning, and the result that I got, and then we’ll deduce my intention from that.
Formula: Decision (with intention) = result
Dance cardio with Tracy Anderson (intention?) = Thankful and energized for the day.
I’m aware of my intentions behind my actions at this point, so I can easily tell you what my intention was — to give myself a fun way to keep my heart healthy. What we have is this:
Formula: Decision (with intention) = result
Dance cardio with Tracy Anderson (intention: to give myself a fun way to keep my heart healthy) = Thankful and energized for the day.
But what if, instead, my intention had been, to burn as many calories as possible to lose weight?
That same decision, but with a different intention, produces a different result.
Formula: Decision (with intention) = result
Dance cardio with Tracy Anderson (intention: to burn as many calories as possible to lose weight) = Tired, depleted.
Does that make sense? We just saw:
- I can make the SAME decision, couple it with a DIFFERENT intention, and get a DIFFERENT result altogether, and
- When trying to figure out your intention could be, you can plug in your decision and the result into the equation, mull it over, and figure out what your intention was that brought about the result.
An example of #1 is like when you eat a sandwich with the intention to fill your empty belly, versus when you eat a sandwich because you’re mad at your stupid boss and looking for a distraction. The result (either feeling satisfied and ready to hit road, OR mad at yourself and totally distracted) is different depending on what your intention was.
Look at results that you’re not happy with in your life, trace it back to your intention (real culprit for results!)
Are you happy with your weight? With your career? With your relationships? With your mental health?
If not, these are results that you can input along with the decision that you made, and trace back to your intention — because it’s the REAL culprit behind the results you’re living with.
For example, let’s say that you’re in a job you are miserable doing.
Take this job (intention?) = Utter misery in stupid job.
Ask yourself, why did you decided to take this job? Let’s just say it was because it would make your parents proud and it was prestigious. That was your intention behind taking the job.
Take this job (make parents proud and impress other people) = Utter misery in stupid job.
This is very, very interesting and useful information to see. You have just learned that when your intention, or reason, behind a decision is to make other people happy and impress other people, you will be miserable. Wow.
Your intention always, always, always is the real culprit behind the results you’re getting.
Intention can’t NOT work.
In the words of Creativity coach Christine Kane, intention can’t NOT work. It always produces the results you get.
This means that when you:
- become conscious of your intentions, and
- choose your intentions,
you are consciously creating results.
I have to say, even though this has been 100% true in my life, I’m STILL skeptical! It just sounds too magical or something.
Like, really, I can just set my intention and no matter what else happens in the world, it will manifest into exactly what it is set to?
Doesn’t that just sound like it has to be wrong?
And, yet, in my life, this has always been proven true.
And, it happens faster when you remind yourself of the intention you chose a lot. Like, every day.
Here’s an intention-creation experiment for you to play with, if you dare.
- First, think about something you really, really want in your life. (find work you love? find joy? be in a healthy relationship?) Reach for the stars here, and don’t be scared to be specific.**
** Mine currently is, “Create a thriving life — booming business, healthy and honest relationships, in a house with a gorgeous garden in the back, minutes from my contemporary office space filled with many intelligent, lovely employees and full of delicious dinners and cooking and laughter”. A mouthful! And every time I read my intention, I fall in love with it all over again.
- Now, write it down on post-it or notecard. Go on — do it now, because your day will get busy and you’ll forget and never really do this. It’s really, really worth doing.
- Finally, put it on your bathroom mirror, and every morning when you get up, say it out loud.
You’re going to feel extremely uncool doing this last step. But, you can either be cool or you can get what you really, really want.
Wherever you are with this idea right now — understand what intention is or totally baffled by whatever the hell I’m trying to explain (because you don’t know what it is) — is the perfect place for you to be. I know that much for sure.
And, you can write out your intention, in the intention-creation experiment, even if you don’t exactly get what I’m talking about.
Play with this whole intention idea, mull it over. You may not have heard it from the Oprah, like I did, but now you’ve heard it… and you can’t un-ring that bell. I suspect some very weird stuff may start happening in your life – weird-good (well, that is, depending on your intention).
February 16th, 2010
Tuesdays @ 7pm EST, from February 23 to March 30
The last weight loss class you’ll ever need is almost sold out! Again!
And, the discounted price ($169) ends tonight (then, it’s $199). Sign up now, before it’s sold out.
Also: I love this teaching class.
I love the results people get, I love that YOU love the results that you get.
The very, very short description of the class is that you learn how to eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full, and not really even have to think about it. The ultimate outcome is you being naturally thin and free to live your life.
The class for you if you’re sick of obsessing over what you’re eating and losing weight — and still not losing weight and keeping it off.
Anyway, you can read more about it here – I really just wanted to tell you that the class starts a week from tomorrow, and there are only 2 spots left — AND, the discount ends tonight!!!
I absolutely believe in you – you can be at your naturally thin weight and be free from obsessing over thinness and food.
Come join the class. If it ends up not really being your thing, you can always get a refund (see ridiculously sincere guarantee by scrolling down).
Got any last minute questions? Leave them in the comments! I’ll respond ASAP.
Happy Tuesday, tiger.
February 16th, 2010
It’s Tuesday! And you’re here because you know that your style matters.
- We have a ritual of checking in with what we are wearing (and why), and what’s going on with our living and work digs because it tells us something about what’s going on with us –
- and, THEN, we can then feel better INSTANTLY by making some little changes to our wardrobe or our bedding or whatever.
Instant gratification! Hip hip hooray.
10 ways to change your mood by changing your LOOK.
You may be thinking, “Uh, I have a look??”
The answer is: yes, darling. You definitely have a look. And changing how you present yourself can make you feel good.
Read the rest of this entry »
February 12th, 2010
It’s that time of the week! Our checking in ritual.
Check out the explanatory metaphor about why we do rituals here.
And also, the hard stuff is the raw material for the cool stuff that happens in our lives. It’s annoying, but true. So, here, we attempt to not ignore the hard stuff, because that would mean a lot less cool stuff coming through.
So, we talk about it. And, think about it. And sometimes we even do something about it (but, we never have to).
Hard stuff.
This week I had not that much hard stuff, which is weird because February is usually a walking-through-quicksand hard month (dark; cold; Hallmark holiday). How refreshing!
Sometimes, not really being in control of anything (ever) feels hard.
Because we, none of us, are really in control of our lives. Sometimes this feels like a scary thought, that you’re not really in control of your career or where you end up. In a sense you are in control, because you can choose what you want in your life, and if you reallllllly mean it, that will happen — but in a much bigger sense, anything could happen, and that’s something you don’t get a say in.
Like how everyone at Lehman Bros. thought they had very safe, boring jobs until they were all fired. Stuff like that.
It can be scary, UNTIL you feel the relief of the fact that everything is not really up to you. There’s a flow to be gone with.
For instance: Doing what you love for a living is the ultimate “I’m not really in control” concession. Apparently, to succeed, you have to work really, really hard, but stay open to where the flow is.
It’s kind of like following a messy puppy that meanders around and doesn’t pay any attention to your itinerary for it.
You buy this soft, cozy dog bed for the puppy. But the puppy will not be sleeping there. Like when you plan for X to happen, and you try and try and try and it’s just not really happening! You throw up your hands! You shake your fist!
THEN, all of a sudden, angels come down from the heavens and something really cool happens that you never thought of.
It’s really cool to watch and that this is my life, but sometimes hard for me to stay loose with it and just allow it all to happen. You know what I mean?
I kind of need a place to live.
And I am not sure what this place will be like, where it will be located, or how I will find it (or how it will find me).
RED ALERT! New section.
Let’s peruse last week’s hard/cool stuff and see where we are at with some of it.
Creativity block. I had a major one last week about a program I thought I should do… but, somehow, another program happened from popular demand. So, that’s that! Works for me (for now).
Ultimate fighting! And, GOLF! Both waltzed into my life last week, both are awesome. Except, I somehow now have a GOLF COACH who wants me to go to the driving range 3 times a week. Officially, let’s make that 2 times, otherwise I’m not going to go at all.
Staying centered instead of REALLY EXCITED then. Withdrawn. I’m working on doing this, still. I think it might be the secret to the universe. I’ll let you know.
Cool stuff.
I am doing my oh-so-favorite class!!!
And, in just 2 days, it’s almost full!!! This class happened so organically.
Last summer, I noticed that people were telling me that I was “naturally thin” (soooooo not true). I thought,
I think my friends might like to hear how I worked through my food issues and preoccupations about weight and dropped down to my right size.
And, they did! And the info and interest has just grown from there. Read about it here. You can be one of the last 3 to get in! I’d so love to have you.
- Because, I want you to be happy. That’s the whole point of my job, that I have learned how to work through stuff so that you’re on track, and happy.
Which means that you don’t need to obsess over losing weight to be thin (in fact, obsessing is what is keeping you from losing weight… SO ANNOYING, right?!)
I made a new friend!
She is awesome. I was kind of needing to make a no-nonsense friend like her.
She has three kids under the age of 4 and talks about how she doesn’t even like one of them (I love that!). She isn’t trying to pretend she has it all together.
And that reminds me…. I’ll tell you a little secret: NO ONE HAS IT ALL TOGETHER.
If they say they do, they are hiding something and lying to you.
Valentines Day is so much fun stupid.
I mean, I would NEVER like a dumb, made up holiday like that!*
*I’ve always secretly liked it. Something that I’m embarrassed to admit! I like getting flowers and jewelry and my favorite chocolate (it’s cote d’or). I want to be taken to dinner and be asked to be your Valentine.
I’m learning more about how to do the business side of this thing I do… very helpful.
I’ve felt kind of stuck on the, how, exactly, do I do things like regularly put out a Noosletter that is interesting and helpful for you? I’m getting the hang of that more.
This is a real-life example of totally sucking at something, working on it for a year, and now being “mediocre”.
My goal for the next two months is to be “slightly above mediocre”. This is taking a lot of patience, which I wasn’t aware that I had. Also cool!
I’m going to the OysterFest, snow or shine.
Because their tag line is:
“are you read to get SHUCKED UP!”
(just like that, with ALL CAPS, and no question mark )
And that’s my cool stuff and hard stuff this week!
You are so welcome here anytime. I appreciate having you around (just been meaning to tell you).
In the comments:
- Tell me some hard things for you this week
- Tell me about the cool stuff, too.
- Throw out some awesomely terrible tag lines.
Have a great weekend! See you next week. Hugs and keeeeeses!
