Lessons from a bug.

I want to tell you a tale,  a harrowing adventure that I had, just other day…

It was, life and death! What will happen NEXT?!

It involved a butterfly, moving vehicles, and a narrow escape.

Enter… a car.

I had a meeting with a restauranteur. I love food and restaurants and want to know more about actually doing that, so I met with this restauranteur guy, it was really fun.

I left happy and care free, I’ve literally never heard a human being speak so fast, however. Then, I got into my car.

I backed out of my parking space, and started to drive away….

[where the plot THICKENS]

Enter… a butterfly.

… until! I noticed! There was a butterfly, clinging for life… on the hood of my car!

And for some reason, how butterflies are built, the butterfly couldn’t take off and fly away while I was moving.

And… I couldn’t stop the car! Too much traffic. flying everywhere!

I had cars behind me and in front of me, so I slowed to a crawl.

I was that annoying person in the parking lot that is driving so slow, she might as well have been driving backwards.

But… I am not going to accelerate and risk a butterfly’s demise, you know?

I have standards. And, priorities.

Enter… a very, very slow drive. Lots of honking.

There was honking – everywhere.

Instead of speeding up, I just took the heat.

(more…)

Make the truly stubborn things happen.

Yesterday, I was telling you all about how I’ve felt like I’ve been doing all of the right things, and some weird things too, and not seeing the usual results.

(And, I even re-read my favorite blog post.)

I want to give you a concrete example — and make sure that I’m making sense (not so sure…).

Sometimes things happen. Sometimes… they don’t.

I’m talking about making things actually HAPPEN. Mainly, things happening in your relationships (with the food, with yourself, with your people, with business-stuff, etc. and infinity and beyond), but this could include all things, too.

Especially in areas of your life where you’ve been fruitlessly trying to make things happen (and NOTHING IS HAPPPPEEEENNIINNG).

But, here’s the twist — stuff can happen! And, you know, you CAN do it.

Just follow me.

(more…)

Well… why isn’t anything, like, HAPPENING?

Here’s something I’ve been noticing — and maybe you’ve noticed, too (I don’t know — you tell me):

Do you spend like a LOT of time thinking about your life, maybe even “working on yourself” and your relationships?

And, very little, like, happens?

I’ve been noticing that a lot lately for myself. Specifically, I’ve been working on (1) my relationships with people that I really care about and (2) my relationship with my business.

People: I really care about you…

But, why do I not always show it?

I’ve been watching my patterns (when do I start withdrawing? What am I thinking with I do that) and bringing awareness into the little pieces of them:

• I pull back from people I’m close to — what is that about? When does that start? What am I thinking at that time? With whom (note proper grammar — always torn, sounds snobby but it is right) do I do this?
• I can be a fight-picker… what the what is up with that? Especially since I re-heaaaally hate fighting and conflict (working on it). What am I thinking when I do that? With whom (again, I know) do I do this?
• I feel like I need to make you happy (as if that were even possible). When does that come up the most often? What do I think I’ll get out of that?

These are good questions (not to pat myself on the back too much, I’ve just been at this for, like, decades) and they always help me understand my REAL motivation. It’s finding my intention (we always have one).

But, I’ve been asking and asking and asking.  It has begun to feel like total navel- gazing, and has been not productive. I am asking but without a lot of answering.

Or, even if there are answers, I don’t GET anywhere.

I love to write! And, make programs! And, yet…

I have felt ultra-stuck in coming out with these really cooooool, fun and affordable and FUN thingies I’m working on for you.  Whhhhyyyyyyyy?

I ask-a the questions. I get-a no answers.

(Or, answers? maybe these are the answers? But maybe not, because NOTHING IS HAPPENING).

I’m accepting where I am. But I’m still taking small steps. I’m dissolving my limiting beliefs. I’m listening to my body.

Yeah, I’ve felt frustrated. Part of what is really frustrating is that talking about stuff really helps in changing your relationships with anything, but I haven’t known how to put language to this, even.

Which is why this is the first you’re hearing about any of it.

But all of a sudden!  I GET IT.

(more…)

The Dictator has taken possession of your mind.

You know what is freaking creepy? How much we sound like little Hitlers when we are talking to ourselves.

I did not fully realize this until last week when I started monitoring what I told myself when I did something that I have been trying not to do for a while.

It goes like this (this is the weight loss edition — in honor of tomorrow’s class! You can insert thing-that-you-do-that-you-wish-you-didn’t-do HERE):

• Write down the things you tell yourself after you overeat. ALL of the things (you do it now, before you keep reading, because it works better that way).
• Now, how does hearing those things make you feel? After each sentence, write down how it makes you feel (you may be a lil’ surprised by some of the answers… sad/frustrated and excited, for instance…). Pause at each sentence and see what emotions come up for you.
• When you feel that way, how do you feel about food (or that-you-do-that-you-wish-you-didn’t-do)? Do you want to do the thing/eat more, or less?

Interesting, right????

Because, what if you committed to not beating yourself up, and just watching where in your life you beat yourself up?? Wouldn’t that be interesting?

I beat myself for a handful of reasons, including:

• Eating when I’m not hungry (yes, even I do this sometimes)
• Not being productive enough
• Not BEING PRODUCTIVE ENOUGH, already, Gay!?!

And other things, too.

What’s interesting is that I’ve found that, I am eating/being unproductive TO beat myself up. It’s a lovely little side bogie distraction from a lot of things that I don’t want to feel or deal with.

Which, as I know very well, makes nothing go away. I can hide under the sheets, that is totally fine…

…but, in this life, I’ve committed to working through my junk and showing you how to work through yours, too.

What do you beat yourself up about, ehhhh? (we all SO do this… just start being curious about it… I believe it’s a great back door into some lovely happiness waiting for you.)

Taking the “crappy” out of your day.

Aaaaaaaaaand, here we are! We have arrived at a crappy day.

(By “we” I mean “me”).

I woke up feeling really yucky. I didn’t feel like getting-up-and-getting-going. I felt heavy, and rotten, and gross.

In the food and weight loss world in which I play, one might call this “feeling fat.”

My first reaction: I should not be feeling this way!

For one thing, I’m a person that helps other people be themselves, be happy and be free from obsessions that are crazy-making. So, to do that, I need to be living it.

And when you’re living in your own skin, doing what is right for you and respecting your body, it feels good… which, is how I’m supposed to feel, right? And, yet, I feel all crappy.

Hypocrite! Thy name is Laurie. I must not be doing stuff right!  I must not be taking care of myself.

Which means, I’m a failure! Ay yi yi, the dreaded failure. You know – DOOOOM!

It also means adding a layer of self-loathing to my already state of crapitude.

We kind of all do this. You know, when you’re angry at yourself for not being more, or better, or producing enough?

That’s what I’m talking about. It’s the anger on top of the not-ideal emotion that’s hanging out in side of you.

I know that I do this — I’ve earmarked it in my Book of Me. I know that when I try to beat the crappy mood out of me, I’m actually kicking holes in walls that are built back stronger, instead of dissolving the walls and making the progress and healing that I want. I really, really want.

I know that a better way to handle anything is from a place of acceptance. (more…)

The key to, basically, everything.

There is, basically, one key to doing everything successfully.

This week, I’ve been thinking a lot about how there seems to be one key to everything — like to being more yourself in your world and in that thing you do out there, to losing weight, to healing your relationship with food (and, healing other relationships) and feeling really strong in your life.

That one key is pretty much what led to me finding, and now, doing, this work that I do out here.

And because of my experience in figuring this out and helping you figure your stuff out, too, I see that there is one commonality in people who do things successfully.

(more…)

What to do when you’re REALLY freaking stressed out (part I)

It’s Monday, not the most spectacular day of the week. There’s a lot to do, you have a lot of days of work in a row, and you might be feeling a little stressed about that.

And stress sucks. I’ve been thinking about all of the ways it brings us down: stress makes you fat, it leads to chronic illness, it feels awful, and it turns us into meanies.

And that little devil stress can sneak in like a Trojan Horse — you get this amazing gift-like opportunity, and hiding inside of it is an army of stress-bots, waiting to bust out and invade your day while your birthday candles are still smoldering:

• From what I can see, getting engaged is a Trojan Horse: Hooray, I’m engaged and in love! And, surprise – planning a wedding and appeasing all parties will be one of the most stressful experiences of your life.
• Getting a new job or a promotion is a Trojan Horse: Hooray, no more craptastic days in the cube! And, surprise — you now have to learn commercial real estate immediately because you make no moneys if you sell no spaces.

It’s not that the good part is not great, but the stress part is no fun and can really bring you to your knees.

Who needs THAT?

Not us!

So, if you’re feeling stressed out, here are some things you can do to feel better NOW.

(more…)

Life Line #6: You’re Going to Be Okay.

It’s panic and stress and terror. It’s the office.

I talked with an associate at a law firm last week who contacted me because he is “the poster child for what I do.”

At this rate, I’m going to need a bigger poster. And a totally separate one for all of the attorneys.

I understand, 110%. The feeling stuck, feeling semi- or fully hopeless that work will never be better than this for the rest of your life.

You feel like there is more of you to use than the small (robotic) bit of you that is engaged in your job.

(more…)

The Secret Ingredient.

Last week, some models taught me the secret ingredient for success.

I also learned this from Kung Foo Panda. Squidoosh.

Surfing and Furniture

I was out and about with a good friend of mine who has worked for Ford for over a decade, and she is even more beautiful on the inside than the outside.

I meet the most unexpected people through her, and sometimes the stories I hear are deliciously perfect for you.

Enter J.T.

(more…)

Job Tips. The Free Kind.

TIPS! For youifying your job. Because maybe:

• You’re doing what you love (and want it to succeed) or
• You are trying to do work you like, but you’re kind of sucking at it, OR
• You have no. i. dea what you want to do. But you want to like it.

If you end up hating the Youifying Job Tips, make your french exit anytime (unsubscribe!).

Plus, the usual I-would-never-share-your-info-in-a-million-years statement applies here. I would never.

You get tips that are pretty awesome.
And extremely helpful.
And practical & normal-person-clear.*

*(There will be zero rainbows, fluffy animals, sunsets or boring stuff.)

If this is your thing – sign the heck up!  Look for Tips on Tuesdays.

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