FashionWeek Delights

It’s fashion week in NYC. I love fashion week. I love fashion.

So instead of going through fashion shows and highlighting my picks, which sounds dreadful to me, I will highlight my latest fashion-ish delights from the world wide web.

First, and most definitely foremost, there is The Man Repeller.

Maybe it’s because I love some things that are definitely not flattering (my pleat front pants that taper! that enormous Tse dress!), maybe it’s because high fashion makes almost no practical sense to wear in the real world (and I love that! maybe that makes it art, no?) or maybe it’s because the entire Man-Repelling blog reminds me so much of my good friend Beatie and her penchant for oversized man-clothes and distaste for underwire — but regardless of why, this blog is amaze.

As an aside, I love that in all (that I’ve seen so far) pictures of the actual blogger, she looks really fun to hang out with. And not always that glamorous or intimidatingly beautiful. How authentic.

Second, there is Pinterest.

Have I told you about my life-changing curtain (like, literally a curtain, which I purchased from this store on Lafayette that used to be there called Wholesale Liquidators, it was a phenomenal store full of absolute crap you have no use for) pinned with stuff that makes me happy that led me to more-or-less quitting my law firm and beginning an actual life? Some may dub this a “vision board” but there was no practical application. I was not coming up with some life or thing in the world that I actually wanted, not that there is anything wrong with that.

There are belgian waffles and waves and spanish moss and whimsically dressed models. There is a Lower East Side tennis shoe store on it (few people have even seen me wear tennis shoes, not really my thing). Conceptually, it had no logical application to my life, I just pinned concepts or ideas or pictures that I find awesome. It makes almost no sense, but as a whole I find it delightful.

Enter Pinterest. You can make pretty collages and inspiration boards and actual vision boards in any possible category of life! If I could just get the iPhone app to work I’d be Pinning things from Lonny Mag right now.

Which leads me to Lonny Mag.

It’s a lifestyle magazine that is just for me! It has nifty travel things and house stuff and clothes and quirky individuals with a strong sense of self profiled!

It’s also online and FREE and I have an extra soft spot for free stuff. And pretty stuff. Both found in LM.

And, speaking of people who like pretty, last but most hilarious is Suri’s BurnBook.

It’s where Suri Cruise, American royalty, proclaims as what’s in and what’s out when it comes to celebrity toddlers. 3368 Peachtree Road Well, trust me, you actually kind of do.

And here is where this post comes full circle. See Suri Cruise skipping school to go to fashionweek:

And read about it here.

Somehow I’ve created a FashionWeek palandrome (where something is the same forwards and backwards – start with FW, end with FW – or like “A man, a plan, a canal, Panama” or the lesser known, “Stop mom! Pots!”).

My Summer To-Do List

My Summer To-Do List

This summer, I want to be conscientious on the outset about doing some things that I love to do, and some things that I need to do (and will be thrilled when they are done) to make it a wonderful 3 months – and the only summer that my fiancé and I will ever be engaged before we get married (I think… see #10).

Here’s what’s on my summer to-do list:

1. Summer movies (always a must)
2. Remember to take evening walks in the neighborhood and the park
3. Make brunch for my fiancé
4. Weekend trip to the Sea Island house
5. Write about things I love each week
6. Several home make-over projects (entryway, bedroom, dining room)
7. Start a garden
8. Make my friend, Hilary’s, watermelon mojitos with home-grown mint
9. Take the one-day bar exam (blech)
10. Set a wedding date (we got engaged in December!)

I love the idea of making meaningful memories and enjoying, instead of rushing, through the next few months when it’s so easy for time to fly and wonder where the summer went.

My goal is to tick off my to-do list between Memorial Day weekend and Labor Day weekend, as part of a recent shift that I’ve noticed: I’m being slightly more aware of what I’m doing and thinking and feeling (and loving it).

Tuesday Styles #11: Live by your own design, Vol. I.

Being out of sync with yourself? Sucks.

Whether it’s the wrong words, the wrong environment or the wrong rhythm, what can feel fine at first gets less fine with time.

It’s a blanket that’s warm in the beginning but gets itchy and hot.

Need some specific examples? (Well, here are three… but you can skippy-skip this part if you’re tracking already.)

(1) You meet a special person that is fun in the beginning, but gets annoying. <I’d like you to get away from me, please.> (2) Your career in marketing felt exciting in the beginning, but growns meaningless. <I’d like to contribute to the suffering people, not the suffering companies, please.> (3) Your quest for a skinny little self felt empowering in the beginning, but grows illusive. <I’m my skinny little self now, but still feel the same… I’d like to be happy, please.>

Catching the rhythm again and finding the right words all by your lonesome can feel fruitless. It’s takes forever. Or, it feels like forever when you’re in this no-man’s land.

(Me? I usually trip over the right stuff after passing it 14 times, then I get mad at it for tripping me and walk back over to it to tell-it-a-thing-or-two, and then realize… hey, that kinda feels like it might be what I’ve been looking for all of this time.…)

Sometimes, we need people and words that are outside of our own minds in order to stumble upon that right path again.

What Needs to Happen

(more…)

A hard time — same thing as the Terror Monkey.

Hello, lovey! This isn’t really a post, it’s more of a, Hello! I miss you and want to tell you stuff I’m up to and thinking about.

The best people on the planet enroll in my classes.

How they find me, or know I will love them?? Who knows! But, I always do. I love their emails, their vibe, their questions, everything.  It makes what I do worth doing, and fun.

We just wrapped up the last Guerilla Weight Loss class in the history of the universe (dramatic! but, true).  There will be other classes, but no more of those. It was a really good class, lots of fabulous breakthroughs and aha’s! And, it’s just fun.

The reason I’m not doing it again (because someone asked me, it’s a super good q) is that I’m ready to move on to new and different and varied materials in a different way. Not that I won’t help you change your relationship with food, I SO will, but I want to continue to grow with my biznik. That is the new, cool word for business… or, something.

I get to take a mini-vacay!

This weekend! Although, I’ve sort of already started stressing out about whether or not I’ll be able to relax.  Dumb-ass monkey mind.

I’ve FINALLY made a bunch of progress on my NEW STUFF!

I have a dream… to put this THING out there that is related to Guerilla Weight Loss class but a little different, maybe (shock-attack) better, even, and cheaper! So, basically it’s the absolute most perfect thing oh-my-freaking-gosh. No pressure.

It’s so weird how I’m a person who helps people improve and change their relationships (with food, with themselves, with other people, with their careers) and I still totally get stuck in mine, like I did trying to actually do this NEW STUFF. I’m telling you, it happens, like, all of the time.

I guess the “spin” I could throw at you here is:

Well, first I was all stuck, and then, being perfect, I figured it out! Now everything is just WONDERFUL.

That makes me feel so extremely gross. I have to say, though, how freaking much do people who aim to help you with stuff (read: coaches) spout the “look at how imperfect I was, but how perfect I am now… which means I’m all done with this process I’ll teach you, so you can be like me!” story?

You know what I mean? Sometimes, you want to believe what they are saying, but there is something about it that feels… suspicious.

Well, you’re right to be suspect of the above and similar versions of it.

I officially call total bullshit.

(more…)

Change Cyclists: they get all the great parking spots.

We are all in the glorious Cycle o’ Change at all times, in all aspects of our lives.

It’s supremely useful to know where you are in the Change Cycle so you know things you can actually DO that will be productive in a short-term AND long-term sense for moving forward, in the direction of flow, instead of bouncing around and staying befuddled.

(The Change Cycle is a Martha Beck-ism, and I use it all of the dang time in my life and with clients because it’s TREMENDOUSLY reassuring to know that just because you have started that new THING you’ve been wanting to do for so long, or FINALLY lost all of the weight, or whatever you’re not crazy that you’re feeling lost… or, a sense of loss.)

Here’s the overview –

The Change Cycle (It runs clockwise — I’m not so savvy with the-making-of-the-graphics thing…)

So, there it is! And here is what it all means.

Change. It’s one thing we can always count on!

Change is something a lot of us (read: I) avoid. That’s because BIG changes feel like a total melt down, and because don’t know that this is exactly what is supposed to happen, it feels weird and wrong. So, we avoid it.

Unfortunately (well, it’s actually good but feels unfortunate at the time), the changes come no matter how much we do to prevent them. The ones that send you to square 1 are those memories that mark your history, like, “That was before I moved to New York,” or, “Ever since Carl and I broke up,”… X happens, and it marks a spot for you.

The big ones tend to have these three flavors:

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Tuesday Styles #10: Cheer ye, cheer ye! Change Cyclists, UNITE!

Form follows function.

(I quoth Le Corbusier, a famed architect of the 20th century… eat your heart out, IM Pei, you schmuck).

I’ve been feeling a little shab-tastic lately.

I haven’t been as into expressing myself through what I’m wearing lately.

It’s not like me!

I mean, I cognitively understand the vibrant options and infinite combinations that exist in all closets (for realsies) tire me.

Vat has happened??

All the stuff we’ve talked about regarding style is still true. It’s true!

• Only letting the most wonderful of joyful things into our space… this is a real thing that really can change your life. What you surround yourself with informs how you feel about yourself. TOTALLY.

But, it hasn’t felt all that important to me lately. Of all people! I mean, I started this stupid series, for heaven’s sake!!!

First of all, remember my commitment to stop beating myself up?

Well, here’s another example of when I beat myself up… for trying things and changing things here on a blog that I am the boss of with no one to answer to but me, and only my favorite YOU to talk to.

What is a beating doing HERE??

Well, I did a little beat-up dance about how I should be more energized over style… and then, I remembered that every one of us is existing in the Change Cycle, somewhere or other!

Which, I’m realizing, I’ve never even talked with you about —

Change Cycle! Be a Change Cyclist, you save your world.

Well, I touched on it here, in dealing with overwhelm. But it needs it’s own post. STAY TUNED, lassie.

It’s VERY reassuring for times when you are in a, what’s going ON with me lately? state. I mean, one way out of a funk is to just change one thing. That works like ah chahm.

But the Change Cycle is great because it explains every single thing that is going on for you at all times. Not joking.

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Taking the “crappy” out of your day.

Aaaaaaaaaand, here we are! We have arrived at a crappy day.

(By “we” I mean “me”).

I woke up feeling really yucky. I didn’t feel like getting-up-and-getting-going. I felt heavy, and rotten, and gross.

In the food and weight loss world in which I play, one might call this “feeling fat.”

My first reaction: I should not be feeling this way!

For one thing, I’m a person that helps other people be themselves, be happy and be free from obsessions that are crazy-making. So, to do that, I need to be living it.

And when you’re living in your own skin, doing what is right for you and respecting your body, it feels good… which, is how I’m supposed to feel, right? And, yet, I feel all crappy.

Hypocrite! Thy name is Laurie. I must not be doing stuff right!  I must not be taking care of myself.

Which means, I’m a failure! Ay yi yi, the dreaded failure. You know – DOOOOM!

It also means adding a layer of self-loathing to my already state of crapitude.

We kind of all do this. You know, when you’re angry at yourself for not being more, or better, or producing enough?

That’s what I’m talking about. It’s the anger on top of the not-ideal emotion that’s hanging out in side of you.

I know that I do this — I’ve earmarked it in my Book of Me. I know that when I try to beat the crappy mood out of me, I’m actually kicking holes in walls that are built back stronger, instead of dissolving the walls and making the progress and healing that I want. I really, really want.

I know that a better way to handle anything is from a place of acceptance. (more…)

Eating of the forbidden fettucini (and be naturally thin)

New restaurants, cooking (like last night! sweet potato latkes and chipotle pork tenderloin, an experiment! moderate success) and cool new food-stuffs… love.

So! What to do, when one of your loves is also giving you love handles?

Or a bagel butt? (Which is what my high school boyfriend’s mom called me while I was working at the Bagel Bin… for good reason.)

The natural thing to do is to develop a love-hate relationship with the food. Sure, you love food! De-LISH-ious dinners and desserts. Oh my.

But, you also hate that it’s keeping you chubby. Fattening food becomes the forbidden fruit (or, really, forbidden fettucini alfredo because who cares about fruit) and yet, also something you cannot avoid.

You have to eat. So, you try to “eat healthily.” Oh, the bland, boring world of health food and dieting…

• Diet Coke, diet Chick-Fil-A lemonade = not that bad
• Dry turkey sandwiches and egg white omlettes = not that satisfying
• All-spinach diet (since you heard that Audrey Hepburn ate only spinach) = incredibly difficult to actually do
• No pasta or chocolate or fries, EVER = sad, self-torture

Ultimately, you have two glasses of wine one night, clean your plate and find yourself raiding the fridge afterwards. It’s really frustrating, because you TRULY want to feel good in your body and be at a weight that is healthy and thin for you, but doing this [through the usual channels (self-discipline, dieting, extra-exercising)] has not lead to losing weight and keeping it of.

That’s because “usual channels” for weight loss are stupid.

The “usual channels” are a FAIL.

This means, fabulously, that there is nothing wrong with you — even when you overeat (more on that in a sec).

The usual channels for weight loss have not worked because they do not account for something you cannot escape: your human nature.

(more…)

Style Recess: Because you are a cool finder.

A client tipped me off to this aesthetically rich site that’s claiming to be a cool hunter, but seems to me it is more of a cool finder — which is why it made me think of you.

Being a cool finder yourself, you can be the judge of what is appealing and, well, cool, and what is a little too out there for you. I am partial to the architecture that’s been cool hunted.

So, go on! Dive in to the pop cultural deep end to give your analytical left brain a rest and get your creative right brain firing (weirdly, doing this will make your left brain more productive afterwards — score one for procrastination!).

• If nothing else, watch OK Go’s new video, which the site links to. It is pretty ridiculous.

Have fun on the style playground!

Tuesday Styles: Change your style, you change your life.

On Tuesdays, I talk about style. Because, seriously, it’s SUCH an accessible way for us to make significant improvement in our lives.

• By “significant improvements” I mean stuff like, you can feel happier, have good things happening and change your relationships all of it just by tinkering with with your forgotten little style nodule.

(And when I am talking about your “style“, I mean what you’re wearing, what your digs look like, how your work space is looking…)

It’s your style! It matters.

I said some things the other day. (I meant them.)

Not to be all Stacy on What Not to Wear,* but what you wear is an expression of who you are to other people and, MORE IMPORTANTLY, to yourself.

*because she’s kind of a bitch on that show

You may shave your head or have pink hair.

You may want to wear all black and put a duck on your shoulder. It all sends a message, to YOU and to the big, bodacious world.

Because how you express yourself (outwardly, through your style) is a microcosm of how you live and what you believe you deserve to have.

Kind of heavy, but, it’s true. So true!

It’s LIFE OR DEATH!

Well, not exactly that. (there’s no death)

• But you cannot change your life without changing your style, and vice versa.

Your style is a powerful metaphor for your life. In the words of ye old Martha Beck who studies (in her words — I love this) “how to cope, how to be happy and how to manifest your purpose” (and trained me to teach you how to do those things), and who also has a schmancy Harvard PhD in sociology :

Every time you make a choice about which objects you bring into your space, where to put them, or whether to remove them, you’re following psychological directives that also shape every other aspect of your life. If you feel overwhelmed by tasks and people, your home will be overcrowded with objects. If you care more about your children than about yourself, you’ll take better care of their space than you do of your own.  If you have a lot of secrets the physical manifestation of those secrets will be stowed — usually in a grubby, hidden or suffocating bundle — somewhere in your house.

Holy smokes, Dr. Martha. I feel like you’ve been to my house, and can read my mind.

But, Dr. M, why does changing my space — like, cleaning out the crap I have hidden behind my bedroom door, say – change my life?

It’s because of BUTTERFLIES.

OH!

Wait — huh?

No, wait — it’s because of the Butterfly Effect.

Huh?

You know, the Butterfly Effect, which you may know as a movie you didn’t bother seeing with Ashton Kutcher in it, but is actually a concept, based on a story written wayyyyy back in 1952 (which is why you’ve never read it).

A man goes back to the age of the dinosaurs, and steps on a butterfly. He returns to the future, and insects (not people) rule the modern world. This small change, extrapolated over eons, makes an enormous change.

If you start to pay attention, you’ll find that if you make a change to your style, or your living space, however small, it will send you down a slightly different path that you can’t see at first, but puts you in a VERY different place in the future.

Like an orange wall and a cactus.

I believe my decision not to marry this not-right-for-me person years ago is because I changed HIS living space (where I spent most of my time).

We were talking marriage and thinking dates.  Heavy.

Then, as a “fun surprise”, I painted one of his enormous walls bright orange and bought him a cactus while he was out one day (I’m a very fast painter).

With the apartment so happy, I could see, after about 3 months of the slightly different path, that we were… not. And, I picked up by bucket and paint brush and found a new wall to paint.

And that wall got me onto the slightly different path that leads to this career! (But that’s another story for another post.)

There’s also the awesome action component.

To make a small change, you have to take a small action. And that action is empowering — because that action is really what puts you on the new and better path.

And that new and better path changes your life. Which means, you just proved to yourself you can change your life with your actions.

Rock on.

And the change your patterns component.

If your space is different or you present yourself in a different way, it changes your patterns throughout the day, ever so slightly.

Your patterns shifting means they shift throughout your life… and who knows how many lives you touch with that!

The bottom line is that little tiny visual changes make big, lasting improvements in your existence. They feel good when you do them, they don’t take much effort at the time and you get to enjoy the fruits of a changed loom.

Um, life.

In the comments, please tell me:

– if you’ve every changed your home or style in any way that’s affected your life;

– did you see The Butterfly Effect, the movie, and was it like the book;

– something about your current style — good, bad or… edible. Or something.