Write down one of your favorite excuses for not taking action in the area of least satisfaction in your life.

Seriously – like, right now. I’m waiiiiiiiting.

I’ll keep talking while you think of what that fav excuse is.

Is your career the area of least satisfaction?  ”I would ask for a promotion but there is a recession going on” – anything about the recession blocking your action?

Maybe you would lose weight, but you don’t have time to get started right now. Is that the one you tell yourself the most?

Okay, now that you’ve pinpointed the area where you feel stuck and the reason you haven’t done anything, it’s time to plug-and-chug!  We’ll plug your personal flava of excuse into a very powerful model.

Feeling deeply stuck is always the result of a stalemate between a command and a countermand from one’s own belief system.  A countermand (i.e., your excuse and “reason” for inaction) is an instruction that another command should not be followed - examples:

• “I see myself running my own business (command), but I need an MBA (countermand)”
• “I see myself getting married and having children (command), but my boyfriend won’t propose to me (countermand)”
• “I see myself being a restaurant consultant (command), but I don’t have enough time or money to start (countermand).”

Your mind ALWAYS denies that you are doing this – it pretends the countermand is some very real external circumstance or situation or force that makes it “impossible” for you to achieve you goal/command.  The big red flag that you are countermanding what will make you happy is the word BUT.

COUNTERMANDING SPELL

When someone is countermanding their heart’s desires with BUTS, you cannot help them solve the problem with logic because they will “yeah, but” your every suggestion.  Arguing does not work.  The only way for the person to see their way out of their countermand is by Byron Katie’s method – there’s a formula you follow each time.

This is what you do:

Step 1: State the Countermanding Spell:
I cant [insert condition A]__________________________________________
__________________________________________

because [insert condition B] .

Applied to one of the examples above:

I can’t see myself being a restaurant consultant (condition A) because I don’t have enough time or money to get started (condition B).

Step 2: Do a reality check

My mind is choosing not to have [insert condition A] _________________________________________
__________________________________________

because it believes [insert condition B] __________________________________________

__________________________________________

is a problem.  My true self can create [insert condition A] _____________________________ __________________________________________

because it knows [insert condition B]__________________________________________

isn’t the problem — my beliefs are.

 

Applied to our example:

My mind is choosing not to have a career as a restaurant consultant

because it believes I don’t have enough time or money to get started

is a problem.  My true self can create a career as a restaurant consultant

because it knows I don’t have enough time or money to get started isn’t the problem — my beliefs are.

 

Step 3: Discredit the Countermand.

First thing I would do if I did not believe condition B: _______________________________________

Second thing I would do if I did not believe condition B: _______________________________________

Third thing I would do if I did not believe condition B: _______________________________________

 

Applied to our example:

First thing I would do if I did not believe condition B: Get realistic about the time I waste each day and over the weekend (Tweets, episodes of Lost, Gmail chatting and loitering around the gym) and use this time to work on my business.

Second thing I would do if I did not believe condition B: Create a free, basic website using WordPress to advertise my services, which I can direct potential clients to.

Third thing I would do if I did not believe condition B: Call my contacts at restaurants, explain my service and see who they suggest I contact who either do this already or could use my services.

You have to try this on your own to really “get” it. I promise that if you really think about it, you have a desire that is thwarted by your own countermanding belief. Try these 3 simples steps with something you yourself believe, so that you get to experience the liberation when you do step 3.

Let me know how it worked for you in the comments below!

And check back soon for your next excuse-exploding mechanism (cheesy? Yea a little. But true!).

If you liked this post, take a look at these posts.

1. Excuses Are Lame
2. Excuses in Exercise are LAME
3. Clear the Way and Move Foward in Your Career