Question: What’s less helpful than excuses?

Answer: Nothing.

Then why do we all constantly crank them out?  That is another good question.  Before we dive into the answer, here are some of my personal favorites from the excuse bank:

• If it weren’t for my financial obligations, I would definitely quit my job and finally do something I enjoy, maybe even take a break.
• I am all that my spouse/parents/children have, it is my job not to let them down.
• I owe it to my reputation to stay in this job no matter how I feel about it.
• I can’t quit my job without another job lined up.
• I would switch jobs but I can’t during this bad economy. (personal fav)

Oh, the lies! Sure, you may read the above or recognize some kernel of something you truly believe that is your current excuse for staying put when you’re totally miserable, and think – yeah, but for me it is TRUE.

You are wrong, my darlings. If you think any one thought is God’s honest truth when that thought feels like shackles on your wrists keeping you in a miserable cage of a situation, you are sorely mistaken.

Let me explain…

Your brain is a computer. If you had your brain mapped (and nowadays, you can), you would see that certain neural pathways seem to be extremely popular for your brain. Repeat offender thoughts such as, “I don’t deserve to be happy and successful” or “I need approval to know that I’m worth something” are like ruts in the road. The connections between certain neurons are worn deep, and the thoughts these connections generate may be pathways created subconsciously, perhaps even at a young age. Maybe we watched a painful family situation and learned, “Nothing good is ever permanent,” or perhaps our teachers only paid attention to us when we scored an A+, and we decided that means, “You have to be successful to be loved.”

Whatever the unhelpful thought, our computer brains have be running those thoughts on loop ever since.

That’s all fine and dandy, but the problem is - we believe them.

On top of the crappy thoughts we’ve been playing over and over, there are all sorts of fear messages hard-wired to our most basic brain functioning that broadcast on repeat as well. For the survival of our species, fearing that there will never be enough resources motivated us to gather resources and form bonds with other primates, and constant fear of attack kept us always vigilant to defend our young and brethren. The portion of our brain close to our brain stem that very closely resemble the brain of a reptile is the origin of these “lack and attack” messages – also known as our Lizard Brains.

Today, in a world of abundance where we inhabit shelters impermeable to wind and rain, with automatic climate control not only in our living rooms but our refrigerators, attacks happen very, very rarely especially when compared to the constant struggle against predators and the elements experienced by our ancestors.

When you add up the computer brain playing bad oldies and our panicky Lizard Brains, excuses can feel pretty, well, real.

But here’s the really, really good news: We can literally outwit our brains and the call of nature that is currently hardwired.  If you could map your brain while you do the following exercise, you would see that different parts of your brain are activated when you rework an unhealthy thought than the part of your brain that is firing when the unhelpful thought is passing through your pretty little head.

Is this making sense? If not, hang on and try these next few exercises that I’ll post this week on for size.  It will help you get what I’m saying here and make some repairs in your own head, too.

It’s fairly likely that you will feel more relaxed, less likely to believe those pitiful excuses keeping you from better stuff and a much happier outlook – and life. Try it out, see how you feel. What’s the harm in trying?

If you liked this post, take a look at these posts.

1. Excuses are Lame – Do Something About It
2. Excuses in Exercise are LAME
3. Stuff that is not totally lame.