Remember last Friday?

I explained that I really like rituals, and then I started one. So far, so pleased. Which means we will do it again this Friday. (I already have some Cool Stuff to tell you but I’m saving it for Friday!).

Since Friday’s post, I’ve been thinking more about exactly why rituals are important: From my perspective, mindful rituals give us structured time to come together, to reflect.

Metaphorically speaking…

Explanatory Metaphor (as I am want to do): Rituals are the Aquaducts* of youification.

*Aquaducts are the ancient irrigation system that brought water into cities from the rivers and streams in the country. They are most often associated with those killer Romans. The ancient aquaducts are not only Stone Henge-ly amazing because they were built before John Deere was born, but Italians still USE them! I know I’m dorking out right now, but how cool is it that they are still in good enough shape to be sometimes used?).

My parents did me a tremendous service by exporting the family to Italy when I was in middle school.

I was taking Latin with a kooky Latin teacher who had taught me about things like a Villa Rustica, the ablative verb tense, and all about Aquaducts. When I was in Italy, I remember the Aquaducts much more clearly than anything else.  They were in pretty good shape for being 2,000 years old.

In framing why rituals that we do are important, I think it’s useful to think of them as Aquaducts (not infrastructure or support systems).

This is because the rituals are not the things, just like the Aquaducts are not the things. Rituals are the vehicle for getting the things that are really necessary for us to be our whole selves in the present moment (like Aquaducts route water – get it??) into our personal space.

In a good way.

Rituals: Conclusion (before moving on)

Rituals thus far:  Right now, we have Friday. In Review! in place with our personal youificating Aquaduct system.

• Friday. In Review! creates a space for us to reflect on the Hard Stuff we are dealing with and rave about the Cool Stuff.

Creating space so that we can talk about our Hard Stuff instead of avoiding thinking about it is a biggie, because pretending that the Hard Stuff is not there doesn’t work – tried it!

Basically, what happens when you ignore the fear or the yuckiness is that it all builds up. Then, one day, you have chronic fatigue syndrome or clinical depression, or you just feel crappy 90% of the time. I am not saying that everyone with chronic health problems or depression have themselves to blame in this way, I’m just saying that these are types of real, tangible problems that result from not dealing with the Hard Stuff.

That’s why Friday is our REMINDING time. We are just people. We forget things. We need reminders and REMINDING.

Because the Hard Stuff is actually Good Stuff (shock!), even though it does not feel like that at all. Our Hard Stuff genuinely wants to be transformed into goodness – that is the whole point for it being there.This transformation begins by letting it peak it’s Ugly Duckling little head out.

The transformation is a process.

AND AFTERWARDS, the Ugly Duckling Hard Stuff can be all swan, all of the time.

I feel I’m being vague.  I just re-read all of the post thus far, and now I’m thinking, ugh, I should censor myself more – which I am not going to do. (Tiny bits of self-loathing. Little waves of shame. Ahhhh.)

I want to move on to today’s topic.

As I’ve mentioned, I like helping you find the work that you want to do in the world.  I like helping you crawl back into your body, which means looking like YOU really look (which is at your ideal weight, among other things).

Among other things? Yes. Even if you feel like you’re not into your image at all or anything touching-and-concerning style, I think you might be wrong.

While you may not be interested in fall trends or being fashionable, getting dressed and your physical surroundings are a wonderful, wonderful opportunity for youification.

Welcome to the first edition (in a series) on Style Therapy.

It’s an Aquaduct of fashionable proportions.

We’re going to redress your mess. We will learn to be conscious about why we choose to wear what we wear and what we do with our environments.

Here is what I mean: You have to get dressed every morning (or choose to be in the buff – not my business).  You live somewhere and that place has some kind of stuff skewed about.

When you think about what YOU really want to wear (more on this later) and the environment that YOU really like to live in, you may come up with… nothing right now. (Interesting!)

Whether you’re conscious of it or not, how you dress and your surroundings inform how you feel about yourself.  PLUS! There is the added bonus that style and environment can be a really great tool for getting in touch with yourself.

Youifying your surroundings and what you wear is very fun.  Just sayin’.

First Installation: Pick Your ONE Least Favorite

You must try this out. Many of the things we do are totally optional, but this is not because (1) it’s so freaking easy and (2) you’re not going to believe me that this is helpful unless you try it.  Try it!

STEP 1: Wherever you are right now, think of your least favorite thing about your physical space, wherever you are (cube, home, office, classroom).  I’ll do it too (because that’s how we do things here).

MY PLACE: It really bugs me how this one corner of my bedroom has a bunch of messy crap in it.

STEP 2: How might this least favorite place mirror something in your real life?

ME: Yikes.  Well, I am trying to do way, way too much right now (it’s fun but exhausting).  Doing too much is not me at my happiest. I much prefer peace and order.  My days feel kind of cluttered, to be honest.

Step 3: What is one, small action you can take right now that will improve this least favorite area, wherever you are?

MY ACTION: Go to the corner and clear out just one of the items of clutter. (I’m going with very old Kate Spade purse from my college years)

Step 4: Repeat! Either once a week, during our Style Therapy sessions, or each morning when you wake up as a daily ritual, until that area of least satisfaction is improved.  After that, go to the NEXT area of least satisfaction…

Here, we’re taking actions in the physical world, but it absolutely, positively impacts our emotional & personal growth.

You can totally slam me on this claim – but not until after you’ve tried this, just one time.

It may seem like you’ll NEVER improve your area of least satisfaction one small action at a time, but in areas of STUCK, progress happens best when done one. tiny. step. at a time.

Moving that one thing just now was the first time I’ve improved that corner one iota in MONTHS. I’m guessing you’ve had the same inertia in you’re situation, too.

I generally feel a little better! I love how easy feeling better can be sometimes.  That is more Cool Stuff.

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