I find it interesting when people come to me seeking relief in their suffering over career decisions and yet are unwilling to make changes.

When I ask, “How does it feel when you think your thought that you just told me, ‘I am trapped in a situation where I cannot have my ideal career AND my most basic needs met’?”

And the answer is, “TERRIBLE!”, it seems to me like the person with the TERRIBLE thought might want to change it.

And sometimes, that person is unwilling to change his or her perception of the situation whatsoever, even when changing perspective means feeling better and even having the exact thing that seems impossible to have!

You can have it all – feeling good and living a life you currently believe impossible – if you will open up to changing your perspective.

Why would anyone resist making the change?

Because it means that you are no longer the victim of your own life – you are the culprit.

Ask yourself: How is playing the victim in my own life working for me?

Answer: It feels terrible!  If you’re anything like me, you play this role all of the time. “My boss makes me do things that I don’t want to do.” “My parents make me go home for Thanksgiving.”  ”I have to go to the dentist.”

When you assume your true identity – the perpetrator of all of the crimes that have been done to you – you don’t get to sit in the corner telling yourself that you have to do this or that, or that you just have bad luck, or that everyone is out to get you, or it is anyone else’s fault that your life sucks. It is your fault. You’re holding the bag.  Guys, we have been caught red handed.

Realizing that all of the crimes committed to you by so many people and situations are actually crimes that you did to yourself means that you are empowered to undo the damage and bring yourself great opportunities, great friends and great experiences.

• You choose the job you hate – no one can make you go there each day, either, you choose to get up and go there.
• You choose the living situation that is all wrong for you
• You choose to run up your credit card bill instead of living within your means.
• You choose to go to the dentist because you don’t want cavity-ridden teeth and major health problems.
• You choose not to speak up when your landlord raised your rent beyond what you can afford.
• You choose to disregard your own wishes and do what you thought “everybody” wanted you to do and thereby live the wrong life for you.

It’s not a blame-game, it’s an acceptance-game. Accept your role in each miserable situation in your life, and you have taken your power back.

You can choose another job, or to leave your job. You can choose to pay off your credit card debt or keep riding it up. You can choose to find your own voice and speak up or to keep quiet.  No matter what you do, it’s your choice.

Those are your choices: Suffer forever as the victim of your life without any relief, or step up to the knowledge that you’re responsible for creating your own misery or your own victory.

Do nothing in the real world as your very first step. Start in your head: On the count of 3, imagine walking through each room of your ideal life – your career, your weight and health, your relationships, your family life.

Take that pacifier out of your mouth and imagine a life where you decide each piece according to what you want and what is right for you.

You are responsible for our own happiness and career success – and this is great news.

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