How many times have you thought something like this:

It is getting really hard to come to work every day. I cannot tell if it is because I am lazy or because there is nothing interesting about this work. It feels like I’ve shut off.  I notice it more when work is slower and I have time to dwell on it. It’s such a “good” job that I feel crazy complaining about it. I feel conflicted, is it me that is not putting enough effort in? Am I just not trying hard enough?

You are not crazy, and you are not alone.

Logically, you are right.  You have a steady pay check in a job that impresses others, so it would seem that you would be content getting up Monday morning to go to work.  So why are you and so many others so miserable?

The essence of the problem, as summed up beautifully by Pam Slim in her book, Escape from Cubicle Nation, is this:

1. Large corporations and firms have changed a lot in the past 25 years. They are fundamentally difficult places to work, even for extremely smart and highly motivated employees in an “ideal” work situation. The most senior people in your field had a very different experience coming up in your large firm or business.
2. Some people are just not cut out for working in large organizations. You may have followed this path for reasons other than being genuinely fascinated with this work, such as pleasing your parents or following advice of well-meaning counselors.

I’m not anti-establishment person at all. My years spent in a large firm trained me very well, I met bright people that are close friends to this day and I have tremendous respect for my mentors and the leadership there.

But, I do see a pattern of challenges, particularly at large organizations, that even the most motivated associate has extreme difficulty overcoming.

Legal Slavery

Responding to your blackberry 24 hours/day, 7 days per week, is being owned by your job. That’s why you resent having to respond – you don’t want to be a slave any more than any other person in their right mind would.

• In the service industry, technology can overrun your work-life balance and obliterate the necessary boundary between your job and the rest of your life.
• Particularly when your job feels like work, and not like fun, being tethered to it constantly is soul-murder.
• Your nervous system is not designed to be constantly “ready” to respond to a trigger.  Physiologically speaking, you need down time to feel like yourself and feel filled up. When you don’t have this down time, it is natural to feel frazzled, frustrated and depleted.

Living in a white-collar slavery is hellish, and no one enjoys it. Some people can tolerate it, but you may not be one of those people.

Natural Preferences

The corporate life simply does not suit every person.

You are unique, and your natural preferences for working are unique.

No matter how hard you try to bend yourself out of shape to suit your job, your true self is always going to resist – and in the end, your true self’s relentlessness wins out over your willpower.

• You may not be meant to have a boss.  In the words of Paul Graham of “You’re Not Meant to Have a Boss”: Life in a zoo may be easier, but it isn’t the life [you] were designed for.”
• You may not be meant to sit at desk all. day. LONG. I’ve read interesting studies that confirm my feelings – that sitting at a desk all day is agonizing.  For example, the human nervous system is very similar to that of a rat.  Rats have a very strong preference for roaming around in burrows and tunnels. A rat must be caged in one open space without anywhere to go for the rat to willingly ingest mind-numbing substances. When caged in a burrowed environment, even when morphine water is laced with sugar (which is like giving me chocolate, they go nuts for it), a rat will not drink it. When in its natural environment, the rat would rather be lucid. Interesting.
• You may not care about the content of your work. No matter how hard you try, even if you find something interesting, you may just not care about computer programming or corporate structures.  When you have no energy around the content of your work, it’s not uncommon to feel drained by it.

Ill-Fitting Shoe Result

You may not be cut out for corporate life, and don’t realize it.

Just as wearing a shoe that is a half-size too small, over time, is crippling, being in the situation that is “off” for who you are breaks you down and burns you out.

Why do you try to jam who we are in a clunky, basic brown loafer when you really naturally prefer a sleek wedge that is comfortable and sexy?

We do this because our social self, shaped by our family, the media, religion, educational institutions, is so strong that we believe that a “great job” at a hedge fund, where you have a strong reputation and make tons of money, should make you happy – even if you know that is in direct contrast to the picture of your ideal life!

Many well-intentioned parents encourage their children into corporate jobs that don’t match their true nature.  As much as you want to make yourself feel okay with the situation, it will always feel uncomfortable and, after a while, it becomes very painful.

There is nothing wrong with being thankful for your paycheck, the free pencils, the color copies, the benefits, the paid vacation and the appearance of stability that you see as your corporate life.

Seeing the good in life is part of living lucky and creating opportunities for yourself.

But, in light of all of this, you still don’t feel so great about your job, you are definitely not crazy.

Some of you feel much worse than “not great” and feel more like “totally checked out from myself emotionally” or “wasting years of the one life I’ve been given” or “so stressed out I can foresee a heart attack by Thanksgiving”.

So, why don’t you leave?  Great question. The reason is the twin towers of fear & doubt.  Look for Monday’s post on what’s going on with that, and tips to work through it.

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