Animals don’t lie to themselves, and this means that if a horse had your job, he would have quit years ago.

And, yes, I’m implying that you’re stuck in your job because you’ve been telling yourself filthy lies (and believing other people’s filthy lies) on a daily basis.

Ponies and people.

What happens when a sinister person walks up to a horse and says, “I want to be your friend. I have tremendous career opportunities for you if you’ll put in a lot of hard work up front”…?

The horse walks away.

Because the horse could care less what the creepy guy is saying, the horse reads the gross negativity around that person and will not be lead by it.

In the daylong workshop I did with Koelle last week, I learned that horses react in each moment according to my energy. Or, lack there of.

It was as like being inside-out boy. The horse’s actions reflected everything going on internally for me.

• If I felt calm and clear about what I wanted the horse to do, the horse wanted to follow me EVERYWHERE.
• If I was nervous or aggressive, the horse would have nothing to do with me.

There was no lying to the horse.  The truth to the horse is totally non-verbal, so how I am is all that is real. What I say could not matter less.

Make good stuff HAPPEN: stop believing anything you hear. Ever.

You and I, on the other hand, listen to loads of total crap and believe it, all of the time.  And because of this, we end up in sticky situations.

Like the job your in that’s all wrong for you. Or that burdensome friendship.

Because instead of believing how we feel about a situation or a person, and listen to our instincts, we rationalize.

We talk ourselves into stuff so we that don’t make waves and we can avoid conflict.

This, of course, never really works. All of the words in the kingdom cannot change the truth of what’s going on, or who you really are.

Or what you really feel about being a lawyer.

Let’s say you’re staffed to a new deal with the only partner at your law firm that you reallllllllly do not like. Really, really.

[You] Well, I don’t really like this woman I’ve just been staffed to work with. Maybe I would like her if I knew her better. Besides, I don’t want be considered “difficult”.

[Horse - if he could talk] I do not want to work with this woman. Staff me to something else. Thanks.

Maybe you have worked the past 7 weekends in a row, and are EXHAUSTED. There is no break in sight.

[You] I am so tired and disoriented from lack of sleep and zero time for myself that I’ve crawled under my desk to cry twice today. But everyone in my practice group is this busy, so I can’t push back for a day off.

[Horse] I’m exhausted. I’m going home. See you tomorrow!

One of the senior associates you’re working for came on to you.

[You] I am shocked that my boss hit on me! He’s freaking married. I feel uncomfortable working with him. I guess if it happens again, I’ll be clear that it’s inappropriate and tell him that if happens one more time, I’ll ask to be removed from the deal.

[Horse] I’m staying away from this person. Good thing I’m a horse and it wouldn’t have worked out anyway, here at this law firm.

You get my drift. I’m not saying that a horse would handle office politics with aplomb — he may have been fired many times over if he acted horsey where you act human-y. But he probably wouldn’t have taken a wrong-feeling job in the first place.

The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.

To tap into your innate wisdom, and create a life that reflects who you really are, tune into your intuition. Listen to that first, gut reaction, and note what it is.  The next time you walk into a co-worker’s office, or visit a new coffee shop, notice — what are you feeling.

If you think back to the very first time you darkened the door of your firm, you may recall that you weren’t exactly in love with the place. But, the money sounded good, and the experience seemed valuable…

Starting now, instead of running down the litany of reasons to ignore what’s really going on for you, let yourself be honest with the most important person in your life — you.

Because it doesn’t mean you have to do anything. In fact — don’t act on this information. Not yet.

It’s much kinder to know a person is not a great match as a friend, and not foster a friendship, that to lie to yourself — and to him — and create one more obligation in your life, and take up space in his that could be filled with someone who really actually likes him.

Permission to say what you really feel.

Even if telling your boss that he is “toadlike” would be honest, it doesn’t mean this needs to be verbalized.

Actually, I’ll leave that up to you.

But beginning the practice of reading your true experience, and not the one you tell yourself to have, is one of those key building blocks for thawing out a better job and better life for you.

Because maybe horse can’t fake it like you can, but it has work it’s terrific at — just like you do. But he didn’t get there by pretending he was a praying mantis.

A horse is a horse. Of course, of course.

Take  the next 1 full minute to remember a time that you talked yourself into a business deal or a meeting or a relationship that ended up sucking.  How did you feel at the start of it?  What were the kinds of things you told yourself to do it anyway?

Now you know what it will feel like next time something feels wrong, and how you’ll try to lie to yourself to weasel out of being brave and doing what’s best for you. This is coming from one weasel to another.

Because you deserve an awesome, tailor-made and youified life from top to bottom. And that allllll starts with YOU.

Even if you’re a talking horse (especially if you’re a talking horse).

Here’s to greener pastures.

If you liked this post, take a look at these posts.

1. Don’t quit your job. Change your life.
2. Friday! A Review: Horse Whispering Edition