Me and Jonathan and Everyone You Know

Posted by | October 26, 2009 | Miscellaneous | 6 Comments

Last week was kind of insane. You may have noticed a dearth of posts and Tweets and Facebook updates.  That’s because of the insanity that was my week.

I will elaborate, because it was a great week for me to tell you, in particular, all about. I’m going to doll it out to you in bite-sized pieces throughout this week.

Let’s start with last Tuesday, when I enjoyed a leisurely lunch with Career Renegade, Tribal Author and fellow New Yorker, Jonathan Fields.

Jonathan Fields is a guy who’s done a great job of striking out an authentic-for-him career path (read on for more on that).  I love this about him, because this is what I help people do.  By all standards, he’s been extremely successful – but there’s so much more to it than that.

Me and Jonathan and Everyone You Know

What struck me most about Jonathan is how very present and relaxed he is — and, how candid he was with me.

I’m not going to bore you with the details (like how he wouldn’t let me pay, when I asked HIM to lunch – generous gesture! – and how he gave me VERY good and non-icky marketing and strategic advice, unsolicited, for my much-newer-than-his business).

What I want to tell you about is how you and me and Jonathan Fields are basically on the same path. You and me and everyone we know are dealing with the same stuff, and it’s all going to be great.  Huh, how about that? (Right???)

We talked, shared ideas and where we are both “at” right now, and it all boils down to this…

#1 There is no le grande arrival.

Jonathan honored who he was by leaving the law and diving into the realm of fitness and yoga, selling his businesses and transitioning into what I see as a kind of coach – though, his bio says he has:

established himself as a thought leader in the world of online entrepreneurship, social media, marketing and blogging

Whatever, I still think he’s a coach.

And, you know what? He is still a work in progress.

He’s not a superior than you expert any more than anyone else can be. Because no one really gets there.

For example, he was telling me how he’s in the middle of a big career transition himself.  As of recently, he is merging his blogs and pegging down the steps in his bigger game plan.

And, friends, I’m right there with him.

  • I’ve started some career coaching for lawyers who want to leave the law, and still doing weight loss coaching and career coaching for the other stuck people out there.

But, for me, how I balance it all and which direction(s) I’ll continue in? Work in progress.

Jonathan was telling me how he would never claim to be a guru that knows it all. There is no person who knows it all.  We are, all of us, students that learn and grow and change without ceasing.

Here’s your take away: You, out there — person who has a new project in mind that’s different from your career, or is hopeful for a job switch or desperate to know what work you would love doing — you’re right smack dab on the same path to authenticity that Jonathan and I are both walking down.

We both are dealing with what you are dealing with.

You may have recently started this journey, or you may just be thinking about thinking about starting this journey.  No matter where you are today, if you’re reading this blog,the odds are good that you’re somehow into being the youified version of you.

Here’s your other take away: We-are-all-in-the-same-place thing is so cool because the more you can accept where you are right now and meet yourself where you are today, and take the journey to youifying the work you do one step at a time, the happier you can be in your current life, and the more you realize… there is no big arrival.

You’ve already arrived. And, continue to do so at each moment.  Jonathan’s business is evolving, because it’s alive.  Like all living things, it will always change.

The process never ends.

#2 Big stuff needs  s  p  a  c  e .

Jonathan and I both left our big, fancy law firms.  And both of us decided to do so after carving out time and space to make this decision. He took a month’s leave of absence to get clear on what was right for him to do, and I took what amounts to a year-long sabbatical.

Why were we both intentional in doing this?

Because, when you’re in a heap of badness with your work and you’ve been there for a while, even if you make the right decision for you, you’re not going initiate it from the right place.

I’m not saying that one month away from your job is a magic bullet to solve all of your problems, but if you take some time to rest, to grow calmer and more clear on your priorities, proclivities and the stuff you want to give to the world, you’re going to look back at your decision, and process, and see it for the well-deliberated choice that it was. Just sayin’.

Here’s your take away: Take a break from the thing you feel stuck about, and poll the sources you respect for guidance.  Spend time alone. Connect to what you really want and why you’re not doing that right now.  Take some time for yourself on this.

Otherwise, you’ll keep doing what you’ve always done, and get where you’ve always gotten. Which is kind of nowhere.

#3 Mindsets Over Matter

The delightful Mr. Fields and I talked about a mindset that we both struggle with, that gets us into trouble.  This mindset, like all unhelpful thinking, requires freaking constant correction to avoid it building, over and over, the same dungeon from which you’ve escaped.

He was telling me that he is not exactly in the place that he, being uniquely him, should be. Huh. In the words of Larry David, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty cool to hear such honesty.

  • Similarly, I love working with people to reconnect with themselves in order to identify work that suits and then making it happen. And I love my weight loss clients, who are learning to reconnect and to love themselves as-is in order to be naturally thin. And I’m now beginning work with lawyers who are feeling stuck and unhappy, to sort out the necessary changes to their career and to their own unhelpful mindsets.

Two weeks ago, I realized, just like Jonathan has, that it’s time to slow down to speed up.

  • My business is growing and changing quickly, and I decided to slow down to be sure the speeding ball of fire that is my coaching practice is headed in the right direction for me. (Hence, insane week.)

I’m still in slow down mode, so the resolution to that question is still a-brewin’…

But! Here’s what I do know: I battle, like Jonathan battles, a particular mindset.

We tend to pick a goal and relentlessly drive at it (not very learning lucky).  When really, staying connected to myself, in each moment, and taking the right next move only after evaluating where I am after each move that I make, is the way to manifest work that’s my right work.

  • I slow down to remind myself to stay in the present moment, and follow the opportunities that feel good and energizing – even when they don’t make sense.

Here’s your take away: Your mindset is the single most important piece for you to work on, as you seek to identify your passion, and as you pursue it, and forever.

That’s what I call a power lunch.

About Laurie Gay

clean living guru :: stylist to the intelligentsia :: adventurer in navalgazing

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