Here’s something I’ve been noticing — and maybe you’ve noticed, too (I don’t know — you tell me):

Do you spend like a LOT of time thinking about your life, maybe even “working on yourself” and your relationships?

And, very little, like, happens?

I’ve been noticing that a lot lately for myself. Specifically, I’ve been working on (1) my relationships with people that I really care about and (2) my relationship with my business.

People: I really care about you…

But, why do I not always show it?

I’ve been watching my patterns (when do I start withdrawing? What am I thinking with I do that) and bringing awareness into the little pieces of them:

• I pull back from people I’m close to — what is that about? When does that start? What am I thinking at that time? With whom (note proper grammar — always torn, sounds snobby but it is right) do I do this?
• I can be a fight-picker… what the what is up with that? Especially since I re-heaaaally hate fighting and conflict (working on it). What am I thinking when I do that? With whom (again, I know) do I do this?
• I feel like I need to make you happy (as if that were even possible). When does that come up the most often? What do I think I’ll get out of that?

These are good questions (not to pat myself on the back too much, I’ve just been at this for, like, decades) and they always help me understand my REAL motivation. It’s finding my intention (we always have one).

But, I’ve been asking and asking and asking.  It has begun to feel like total navel- gazing, and has been not productive. I am asking but without a lot of answering.

Or, even if there are answers, I don’t GET anywhere.

I love to write! And, make programs! And, yet…

I have felt ultra-stuck in coming out with these really cooooool, fun and affordable and FUN thingies I’m working on for you.  Whhhhyyyyyyyy?

I ask-a the questions. I get-a no answers.

(Or, answers? maybe these are the answers? But maybe not, because NOTHING IS HAPPENING).

I’m accepting where I am. But I’m still taking small steps. I’m dissolving my limiting beliefs. I’m listening to my body.

Yeah, I’ve felt frustrated. Part of what is really frustrating is that talking about stuff really helps in changing your relationships with anything, but I haven’t known how to put language to this, even.

Which is why this is the first you’re hearing about any of it.

But all of a sudden!  I GET IT.

I wish I could tell you how this happened…

(I think it was just talking to my close friend, live, this weekend — I’m in a new city and have few close friends in person to chat with live… there’s just something about LIVE).

I was talking to a close friend — we’ve been friends for over 10 years, and not because it’s been convenient. She is just in my tree, know? One of my Right People, if you know what I mean.

And, she gave me the best advice:

I need to commit.

I’ve been analyzing and looking and asking, and examining. TO DEATH.

That’s great when it’s time for that, but right now, it’s time to commit to the future.  In other words:

1. What do I want for these relationships? Like, specifically, and in detail.
2. What obstacles (mental, emotional… shark attacks, moats around the castle — I don’t know where you’re going, maybe these things will be in your path) typically derail me?
3. REALLY, how can I overcome them/ dissolve them/ befriend them, this time — be creative!  And, what do I do when the plan DOESN’T work (inevitable, not a “sign” that it “wasn’t meant to be” — swear).
4. Now — what thoughts would I need to believe for this thing I want to be a real thing, in my life?

Caveat! You and I both know that I don’t think the key to all of life is just thoughts that we think — it’s more. Life just is more than that. I wish it were as simple as improving life through one thing.

But, thoughts still sneak-attack situations that are troublesome. Knowing your thoughts — and finding better ones that support the thing you want in your future — is your ace in the whole.

And, then — make the plan!

And — it’s working!!!

Tomorrow, I’m going to give you my story as an example of what a plan might look like, and the thoughts I put in there, and what’s happening. Yayness.

Love to you!

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